Schitt's Creek Quotes: 50 Most Memorable Lines from Rose Family and Friends

1. "Ew, David!" - Alexis

2. "I like the wine, not the label." - David

3. "I don't skate through life, David. I walk through life in really nice shoes." - Alexis

4. "Gossip is the devil's telephone. Best to just hang up." - Moira

5. "I plan on popping a pill, crying a bit, and falling asleep early." - David

6. "Fold in the cheese." - David/Moira

7. "What does burning smell like?!?!" - Moira

8. "I'm only doing this because you called me rude, and I take that as a compliment." - Stevie

9. "Love that journey for me." - Alexis

10. "This wine is awful. Get me another glass." - Moira

11. "I'm trying very hard not to connect with people right now." - David

12. "Take a thousand naked pictures of yourself now." - Moira

13. "You get murdered first for once!" - Alexis

14. "Where is bébé's chamber?" - Moira

15. "A little bit Alexis!" - Alexis

16. "I would be pleased to RSVP as pending." - Moira

17. "Tweet us on Facebook!" - Johnny

18. "I don't know what that means." - David

19. "Never let the bastards get you down!" - Moira

20. "Like Beyoncé, I excel as a solo artist." - David

21. "I'm incapable of faking sincerity." - Stevie

22. "I miss being surrounded by loose acquaintances who think I'm funny and smart and charming." - Alexis

23. "You must prepare for life, and whatever it will throw at you." - Moira

24. "If airplane safety videos have taught me anything, David, it's that a mother puts her own mask on first." - Moira

25. "Why am I getting booed?" - Johnny

26. "I could not be more at one with nature. I do Coachella every year." - David

27. "I have lost all my skills. And now I know how it feels to be utterly helpless like you and your sister." - Moira

28. "Let's not ruin a meal by talking about the process." - David

29. "Yeah, no. I know composting. Gwyneth Paltrow does a compost gift exchange." - Alexis

30. "You know, being approachable isn't that important anyway, the queen hasn't smiled since the '70s, and her birthdays are still very well attended." - David

31. "I have my own holiday tradition. It's like the 12 Days of Christmas, but it's one day with 12 bottles of wine." - Stevie

32. "What now? Do I leave everything behind and move to some random island to be with the love of my life? Because I did that with Harry Styles in England, and it was, like, too rainy." - Alexis

33. "I am suffering romantically right now." - David

34. "I wasn't in rehab; I was at rehab, visiting Stavros." - Alexis

35. "Oh, I know I don't have any money, but I need to look like I don't have money." - Johnny

36. "You're my Mariah Carey." - Patrick

37. "David, stop acting like a disgruntled pelican." - Moira

38. "What you did was impulsive, capricious, and melodramatic. But, it was also wrong." - Moira

39. "I didn't go missing, David. The FBI knew where I was the entire time!" - Alexis

40. "Eat glass!" - David

41. "Fear not, she hath risen!" - Moira

42. "Let's not count our poultry before it's incubated." - Moira

43. "Trust me, people aren't thinking about you the way that you're thinking about you." - Alexis

44. "Talk to the hand, son, because the ears are no longer working." - Johnny

45. "I haven't bedazzled anything since I was 22." - David

46. "I would hardly call myself an expert on this subject. And by subject, I mean genuine human emotion." - David

47. "Thirsty little thing, isn't she?" - Alexis

48. "I'm positively bedeviled with meetings, et cetera." - Moira

49. "I was actually only one stamp away from a free sub." - Ted

50. "I just took a lot of alone time to rebuild and regroup, and I just think it's so important." - Twyla