50 Avocado Jokes That Will Make You Smile

1. What did the tortilla chip say to the guacamole? "You are all I avo wanted."

2. Why do avocados find it so hard to date each other? Because they're just never quite ripe.

3. What did one avocado half say to the other? Without you, I'm empty inside!

4. How do you know if an avocado is angry with you? They will tell you to guac off!

5. What did the avocado say when he crashed his car? "You avocado be kidding me! I'm avo'ing the worst day!"

6. What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole? Playing Devil's Avocado.

7. Why are avocados so rebellious? They just don't give a guac!

8. What did the cash-strapped avocado say to his wife? "We have no money left, we've officially hit guac bottom!"

9. How do you know when two avocados are in love? Because they'll avocuddle whenever they av' a chance.

10. What did the waitress say to the customer who wanted free guacamole? "You can kiss my Hass."

11. What do you call an avocado that has had one hundred girlfriends? An avocad-ho.

12. How did the roommate who stole the last avocado from the fruit bowl justify her thievery? "I know it's wrong, but it feels so ripe!"

13. What did the Mexican heavy metal guitarist say to his bandmates? "Rock out with your guac out."

14. Why do avocados not like catching public transport? Because they av'-a-car-do.

15. How do you know if an avocado is expired? It will be guaca-mouldy.

16. What do drunk avocados say to their friends at house parties? Let's get smashed!

17. What did the angry gang of cutlery say to the avocado? "He is too soft. Let's smash him to a guac!"

18. Why is it so difficult for avocados to leave the supermarket? Because they've been touched by everyone.

19. How do you know if an avocado has been sunbaking? It will soon have guaca-moles on its back.

20. What did the optimistic avocado say to the pessimistic avocado? It's avoca-do, not avoca-don't!

1. What do you call a baby avocado? Pip!

2. What does a duck that's made of avocado say? Guac!

3. What do you call young avocados? Avokiddos!

4. What did the avocado say to her son when he won the race? Bravocado!

5. How does an avocado fairy tale end? Happily avo after!

6. What do you say when you hand someone an avocado? Havacado!

7. What did the avocado say before the rabbit disappeared? Avocadobra!

8. What do you call a group of avocados under the age of 18? Avo-kiddies.

9. Why was the little avocado so popular at school? Because she went well with everything.

10. What did the avocado say to the piece of bread during breakfast? You're toast!

11. How can you tell if an avocado is jealous? He goes green.

12. What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it? Holy guacamole.

13. What's an avocado's favourite type of music? Guac n' roll!

14. How do little avocados get what they want? They spread it on thick.

15. What do you get when you cross an avocado with a two way radio? A Guackie-talkie.

1. How do avocados sign off their emails? "Thanks for your help. Avo nice day!"

2. What kind of exercise do avocados do best? Avo-cardio!

3. What did the bride say to her groom at the altar? I avoca-do.

4. Why are avocados the most self-conscious fruit? Because they're full of fat.

5. What is an avocados favourite Star Wars movie character? Jabbacado.

6. How do you know if an avocado is overgrown? They have a big Hass.

7. Why did the principal expel the avocado from high school? His grades were absolutely pit-iful.

8. What did the avocado say when she found the perfect pair of shoes? I Hass to have you in my closet!

9. How do you know if two avocados are soul mates? They're the perfect avocouple.

10. What did the generous bartender say to the avocado? Avo drink on me tonight.

11. What did the father avocado say to his son? You're just a chip off the old guac.

12. Why are avocados so affectionate? Because they're good for your heart.

13. Why are romantic comedies an avocados favourite genre of movies? Because they love living happily avo after.

14. What did the guacamole say to the astronaut? You're avocado this world.

15. What is an avocado's favourite game to play at the carnival? Guac-a-mole.