Best Funny Quote Collection to Make You Laugh Every Day

Liputan6.com, Jakarta Life can be hard sometimes. We all need something to make us smile and feel better. Funny quotes are perfect for this. They help us laugh when things get tough. These simple and silly sayings come from movies, famous people, and everyday life. You can share them with friends or family to spread joy. Reading funny quotes is like getting free medicine for your heart and mind.

1. Life is hard, but it kills you in the end anyway.
2. I walk around like everything is fine, but my sock is falling off inside my shoe.
3. My bed is a magic place where I remember everything I forgot to do.
4. I need coffee to function like a normal person.
5. Monday should be optional, not required.
6. I talk to myself because I am the only one who listens to me.
7. Getting older means making weird noises when you sit down.
8. I do not need a gym membership. Life gives me enough exercise running from my problems.
9. Sleep is my favorite hobby, but I am not very good at it.
10. I put the fun in dysfunctional.
11. My phone battery lasts longer than most of my relationships.
12. I am not lazy, I am just saving energy for later.
13. Reality keeps ruining my perfectly good day.
14. I have a simple philosophy: Fill what is empty and empty what is full.
15. Common sense is like deodorant - people who need it most never use it.

1. I arrive late to work but leave early to make up for it.
2. Work fascinates me. I can stare at it for hours without doing anything.
3. The best part of my job is pretending to work when the boss walks by.
4. I choose lazy people for hard jobs because they find easy ways to do things.
5. Meetings are where minutes are kept but hours are lost.
6. I work well under pressure, especially when the pressure is the last minute.
7. My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
8. I am not arguing at work, I am just explaining why I am right.
9. Coffee is the most important meal of the workday.
10. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
11. Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?
12. I used all my sick days, so I called in dead.
13. The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits.
14. I am not bossy, I just have better ideas than everyone else.
15. Work is the curse of the drinking class.

1. I love my family, but sometimes I need a vacation from them.
2. Marriage is like a deck of cards. You need a heart to love and a diamond to marry.
3. My kids are the reason I drink coffee and wine.
4. Before you marry someone, watch them use slow internet to see their true character.
5. I want my children to have everything I could not afford, then I want to live with them.
6. When I was young, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
7. Love is being stupid together with someone special.
8. My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have looked twice.
9. Marriage is finding one person to annoy for the rest of your life.
10. Children are like tiny drunk people - they fall down a lot and cry for no reason.
11. I love being married because I always have someone to blame for everything.
12. Family: where life begins and love never ends, but arguments happen daily.
13. The best way to get your husband to do something is to suggest he is too old to do it.
14. I taught my kids about taxes by eating half of their ice cream.
15. Parenting is mostly just following around small people and cleaning up their messes.

1. I am on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
2. Life is too short to count calories, but too long to ignore them completely.
3. I like my coffee like I like my mornings - dark and strong.
4. Chocolate does not ask silly questions. Chocolate understands.
5. I am not addicted to coffee. We are just in a committed relationship.
6. Diet rule number one: If nobody sees you eat it, it has no calories.
7. I cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.
8. The only time to eat diet food is while waiting for the steak to cook.
9. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
10. Money cannot buy happiness, but it can buy ice cream, which is pretty close.
11. I followed my heart and it led me to the refrigerator.
12. Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not.
13. I am not fat, I am just easier to see.
14. The four food groups are fast, frozen, junk, and leftover.
15. I put vegetables in my smoothie, so technically it is a salad.

1. I wish my phone battery lasted as long as my embarrassing memories.
2. My password is incorrect, so whenever I forget it, the computer reminds me.
3. I am not addicted to my phone. I am just in a very committed relationship with it.
4. The internet is a great place to pretend you know what you are talking about.
5. I have a love-hate relationship with technology. I love it when it works and hate it when it does not.
6. My computer crashed and took all my patience with it.
7. I spend so much time on my phone that my thumb has its own zip code.
8. WiFi went down for five minutes, so I had to talk to my family. They seem nice.
9. I am fluent in three languages: English, sarcasm, and emoji.
10. My phone autocorrects my words, but not my life choices.
11. I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life if I die next Tuesday.
12. Social media is like a refrigerator - you check it every few minutes even though nothing changes.
13. I am not antisocial, I am just not user-friendly.
14. Technology is great until you need customer service.
15. I backup my computer religiously, but I still pray it never crashes.

1. I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
2. Money talks, but mine always says goodbye.
3. I like my money where I can see it - hanging in my closet.
4. Shopping is my cardio exercise.
5. I am not broke, I am just pre-rich.
6. Money cannot buy happiness, but it can buy chocolate, which is basically the same thing.
7. I work hard so my cat can have a better life.
8. My wallet is like an onion - opening it makes me cry.
9. I have a shopping problem, but at least I look good while being broke.
10. Credit cards are like potato chips - you cannot have just one.
11. I am saving money by not going anywhere or doing anything fun.
12. My bank account and I are taking a break from each other.
13. I spend money I do not have on things I do not need to impress people I do not like.
14. Being an adult is just saying you will check your bank account later.
15. I am not cheap, I am financially selective.

1. I exercise regularly. I do sit-ups every morning when I get out of bed.
2. My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.
3. I joined a gym six months ago and still have not lost a pound. Apparently, you have to go there.
4. Running is my therapy, except I do not run and I need actual therapy.
5. I do not sweat, I sparkle.
6. My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror.
7. I am not out of shape, I am just hiding my muscles under a layer of fat.
8. Exercise? I thought you said extra fries.
9. I tried yoga once, but I found it too relaxing. I prefer my stress.
10. My fitness goal is to be able to clip my toenails without making weird noises.
11. I do not need a gym membership. Life is my workout.
12. The only marathon I want to do involves watching TV shows.
13. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
14. My body is a temple, but apparently, it is one of those temples where they let anyone in.
15. I exercise because I love my body, but I also love cake more.

1. Age is just a number, but in my case, it is a really big number.
2. I am not old, I am just chronologically gifted.
3. The older I get, the better I was.
4. I remember when I was young and stupid. Now I am just stupid.
5. Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.
6. I am at an age where my back goes out more than I do.
7. The secret to staying young is lying about your age.
8. I am not aging, I am marinating.
9. My memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
10. I am old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.
11. Age is something that does not matter unless you are cheese or wine.
12. I am not over the hill, I am just on the back side of it.
13. The good news about getting older is that you stop caring what people think about you.
14. I am not old, I am a classic.
15. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

1. I love the smell of rain, especially when I am inside and dry.
2. Weather forecast: Cloudy with a chance of complaints.
3. I am not a morning person or a night person. I am a whenever-coffee-kicks-in person.
4. Spring is nature's way of saying let us party after a long winter nap.
5. I like my weather like I like my coffee - hot and strong.
6. Snow is just God's way of telling us to stay inside and be lazy.
7. Summer bodies are made in winter, but so are my excuses.
8. I am solar powered, which explains why I am useless on cloudy days.
9. The weather is like my mood - unpredictable and often disappointing.
10. I do not tan, I rust.
11. Winter is coming, and so is my electric bill.
12. I love fall because everything is pumpkin flavored and I can hide under sweaters.
13. Rain is just confetti from the sky, except it makes me wet and grumpy.
14. I am like a plant - I need water, sunlight, and to be left alone.
15. The best thing about winter is that all the bugs are dead or hiding.

1. Success is like trying to build furniture - there will be tears, confusion, and leftover pieces.
2. Dream big, but also dream practical. Nobody changed the world by hitting snooze.
3. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step in the wrong direction.
4. You miss one hundred percent of the shots you do not take, and about eighty percent of the ones you do.
5. Persistence is important, but so is knowing when to give up and order pizza.
6. The best way to predict the future is to create it, preferably after coffee.
7. Courage is not the absence of fear, it is doing things anyway while being terrified.
8. When life gives you lemons, remember they cost a dollar each now.
9. Failure is just success in progress, very slow progress that requires snacks.
10. Believe you can and you are halfway there. The other half is getting off the couch.
11. The difference between successful people and others is the ability to keep going while wondering if they are doing anything right.
12. Hard work pays off in the future, but laziness pays off right now.
13. I can do anything I set my mind to, as long as it does not require getting up early.
14. Success is ten percent inspiration and ninety percent avoiding distractions on the internet.
15. The only impossible journey is the one you never begin, usually because you are still in bed.