Best Quote of the Day Funny Collection to Make You Smile

Liputan6.com, Jakarta Everyone needs a good laugh every day. Funny quotes can make us feel better when we are sad or tired. They help us see the bright side of life. These simple and silly sayings come from movies, TV shows, and famous people. You can share them with friends or family to spread joy. Reading funny quotes is like taking medicine for your mood. They remind us not to take life too seriously all the time.

1. Life is hard, but it ends for everyone.
2. I refuse to join any group that wants me as a member.
3. Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out alive.
4. Always remember that you are special, just like everyone else.
5. I am so smart that sometimes I do not understand what I say.
6. People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
7. Life is like a sewer. What you get depends on what you put in.
8. You cannot have everything. Where would you put it all?
9. Bad choices make good stories to tell later.
10. I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
11. A clear mind is a sign of a bad memory.
12. Well-behaved women rarely make history books.
13. I did not fail the test. I found 100 ways to do it wrong.
14. I used to be unsure, but now I am not so sure.
15. Do not worry about the world ending today. It is already tomorrow somewhere else.

1. The elevator to success is broken. You must use the stairs.
2. People say motivation does not last. Neither does bathing. That is why we do it daily.
3. Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.
4. Change is not a bad word, but your reaction to it might be.
5. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.
6. The road to success has many tempting parking spaces.
7. Leadership is getting someone else to do what you want because they want to do it.
8. Live each day like it is your second to last. That way you can sleep at night.
9. Even a broken clock is right twice every day.
10. Opportunity looks like work, so most people miss it.
11. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine not having one.
12. By working eight hours a day, you may become boss and work twelve hours a day.
13. The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.
14. If you think your boss is stupid, remember you would not have a job if he was smarter.
15. Every day I check if I am on the rich people list. If not, I go to work.

1. I taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
2. My dad is not dead, just very judgmental from above.
3. Before you marry someone, make them use slow internet to see who they really are.
4. I want my children to have everything I could not afford. Then I want to live with them.
5. My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have looked twice.
6. When my kids get wild, I use a safe playpen. When they are done, I climb out.
7. When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
8. I am not crazy. My mother had me tested.
9. I love being married. It is great to find one person you want to annoy forever.
10. Good parenting means saving money to buy your child a flying board someday.
11. Everyone knows how to raise children, except people who have them.
12. When your children are teenagers, get a dog so someone is happy to see you.
13. You can fool the world, but not your sister.
14. There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
15. Love is blind, but marriage opens your eyes.

1. I like my money where I can see it, hanging in my closet.
2. People say money cannot buy happiness, but I always thought you could make a key if you had enough.
3. Whoever said money cannot buy happiness did not know where to shop.
4. Money cannot buy happiness, but it can buy a big boat to park next to it.
5. Candy is sweet, but alcohol works faster.
6. All you need is love, but chocolate helps too.
7. I cannot afford to waste time making money.
8. Anyone who says money cannot buy happiness never had any.
9. My tastes are simple. I am easily satisfied with the best things.
10. The best things in life are actually really expensive.

1. People ask how I stay young. Good lighting, good doctors, and good makeup.
2. You know you are getting old when candles cost more than the cake.
3. My mother always said the older you get, the better you get, unless you are a banana.
4. Age does not matter unless you are cheese.
5. As you get older, three things happen. First is your memory goes, and I cannot remember the other two.
6. If you do not have wrinkles, you have not laughed enough.
7. The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
8. A man who guesses a woman's age correctly may be smart, but he is not very bright.
9. Always be nice to your children because they choose your nursing home.
10. We never really grow up. We only learn how to act in public.

1. I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.
2. My therapist said to finish what I start. So far I finished two bags of candy and a chocolate cake. I feel better.
3. Wine is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
4. I drink to make other people more interesting.
5. All the things I like are either wrong, illegal, or make you fat.
6. There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.
7. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
8. The other night I ate at a nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
9. People waste time wondering if a glass is half empty or half full. I just drink whatever is in it.
10. When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

1. It is one of the good things about old friends that you can be stupid with them.
2. True friends know you really well but love you anyway.
3. When you are in jail, a good friend tries to bail you out. A best friend is in the cell next to you saying that was fun.
4. The statistics say one out of four Americans has mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it is you.
5. My friends tell me I have problems getting close to people, but they do not really know me.
6. The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
7. Go to heaven for the weather, hell for the company.
8. Friendship is medicine that nobody talks about enough.
9. A good friend will always stab you in the front.
10. Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.
11. A true friend thinks you are a good egg even though you are slightly cracked.
12. Friends make you smile. Best friends make you laugh until you wet your pants.
13. Most of us do not need a therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.
14. If you do not have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me.
15. I do not trust anyone who does their own hair. It is not natural.

1. If I am not back in five minutes, just wait longer.
2. The suspense is terrible. I hope it lasts.
3. I am not great at giving advice. Can I interest you in a mean comment?
4. I am serious, and do not call me Shirley.
5. I am sorry that good-looking people like us made you throw up.
6. According to the map, we have only gone four inches.
7. I see you are drinking low-fat milk. Is that because you think you are fat? You could drink whole milk if you wanted.
8. She gave me a bunch of complaints about me not listening, or something. I do not know, I was not really paying attention.
9. You are not your dad. He could sell a ketchup ice pop to a woman in white gloves.
10. Everything you do bothers me. When you are not here, the things I know you will do when you come home bother me.
11. If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
12. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled like berries.
13. Just keep swimming.
14. My mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you will get.
15. Well, nobody is perfect.

1. Two things are endless: the universe and human stupidity. I am not sure about the universe.
2. The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits.
3. People who think they know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.
4. The reason I talk to myself is because I am the only one whose answers I accept.
5. Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
6. Here is something to think about: How come you never see a headline like fortune teller wins lottery?
7. The trouble with having an open mind is that people will try to put things in it.
8. I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go read a book.
9. It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I could not give it up because I was too famous.
10. Minds are like parachutes. They only work when open.
11. I am an early bird and a night owl, so I am wise and I have worms.
12. In real life, there is no such thing as math.
13. Never follow anyone else's path, unless you are in the woods and lost and you see a path.
14. If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.
15. Hating people is like burning down your house to get rid of a rat.

1. If you cannot be kind, at least be unclear.
2. Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more.
3. Quick satisfaction takes too long.
4. Accept who you are, unless you are a serial killer.
5. I usually avoid temptation unless I cannot resist it.
6. Do things that make you happy within the legal system.
7. I need a six-month vacation twice a year.
8. Reality continues to ruin my life.
9. Do not be so humble. You are not that great.
10. Never miss a good chance to be quiet.
11. I have had great success being a total fool.
12. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade and find someone whose life gave them alcohol, and have a party.
13. To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.
14. You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself.
15. People cannot drive you crazy if you do not give them the keys.