65 Wedding Jokes That Will Make Everyone in the Party Laugh

1. What was the best part of the wedding? The reception; it really took the cake.

2. Luckily we didn't have a Runaway Bride situation. It was more like Runaway Bridal Expenses!

3. What did Cinderella say when her wedding photos didn't show up? Someday my prints will come!

4. What did the groom say when he spent $500 to rent a limousine, then realized he had to hire the driver separately? "I spent all that money, and I have nothing to chauffeur it."

5. What did the groom say when his wedding was burglarized? "I've been robbed before, but this one took the cake."

6. What is the best place to research wedding DJs? Wiki-wiki-wikipedia.

7. Did you hear about the soup at the wedding? It was broth-taking!

8. It's been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers.

9. Why did the bride put on an extra pair of socks? Because she didn't want to get cold feet.

10. What is a ghost's favorite part of a wedding? The boo-quet toss.

11. How does a wedding planner stay in shape? By running down the aisle.

12. Which side of a wedding cake has the most frosting? The outside.

13. What's the worst kind of cake to have at your wedding? The kind that fell on the floor.

14. Why did Einstein invite time to his wedding? Because time was relative.

15. The details about the bouquet toss are still up in the air.

16. What's it called when you get the weird feeling you heard the same song earlier in the reception? DJ-vu.

17. Why can't you tell a joke at a vampire wedding? The reception always sucks.

18. What do you call a wedding with a missing groom? A wife-threatening situation.

19. Why was the marshmallow wedding so perfect? Because the couple was toasted just right.

20. How do astronomers get married? They planet.

1. For butter or worse, a toast to the newlyweds!

2. The groom couldn't stop making wedding puns during the ceremony. He said he was just "altar-ing" the mood.

3. How do you know when a wedding is particularly emotional? Even the cake is in tiers.

4. The couple hired a vegetarian DJ so he could turnip the beets.

5. Why wasn't maid of honor in a rush to get married? She was briding her time.

6. We're keeping the wedding casual, so consider it a lack tie affair.

7. I had cold feet, but my partner reassured me they were just "icing" on the wedding cake.

8. How did the vocabulary words get married? They exchanged vowels.

9. How do celebrity brides walk to the altar? Down the wed carpet.

10. How do Hawaiian brides get married? They walk down the isle.

11. Why do men stand on the left during a wedding ceremony? Because women are always right.

12. How do podiatrists start every wedding speech? I'd like to make a toes.

13. What the delivery driver wear to his wedding? A Truxedo.

14. What wedding song plays when pickles walk down the aisle? Here Comes the Brine.

15. What was the best part of the Verizon CEO's wedding? The reception.

1. What do you call two spiders who just got married? Newlywebs.

2. Did you hear about the phones who got married? The ceremony was boring, but the reception was terrific!

3. Why did the two cannonballs have a shotgun wedding? They were already expecting BBs.

4. Did you hear about the florists who got married? It was arranged!

5. Two nuclear scientists got married... The bride was radiant, the groom was glowing!

6. Did you hear about the Scout masters who got married? They finally decided to tie the knot!

7. Why did the groom cross the road? To get to the other bride!

8. Why should you get married by the sea? It's important to have a wedding's beach!

9. What's the most important ring at a wedding? The catering!

10. Why should you get married in a supermarket? They have the best aisles!

11. Why did the bride hold her breath during her wedding? She wanted something blue!

12. What do you call it when two gardeners get married? A weeding!

13. Did you hear about the two TV remotes who got married? The reception was muted!

14. Why didn't the groom give the bride a ring on their wedding day? He couldn't find his phone!

15. Why should you bring a peach to a wedding? You need an after dinner's peach!

1. My wife says I never listen…or something like that.

2. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

3. Love is a long, sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.

4. I married Miss Right, I didn't know her first name was Always.

5. This couple was married for 67 years. I asked them that if, in all those years, had they ever thought of divorce. "Heavens no," she replied. "Murder, yes. But never divorce."

6. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

7. A happy marriage is a matter of give and take, the husband gives and the wife takes.

8. It doesn't matter how many times a married man changes his job; he will always end up with the same boss.

9. Marriage is full of surprises but it's mostly just asking each other, "Do you have to do that right now?"

10. The saying is true; love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye opener.

11. When your spouse gets a little upset, just remember a simple "calm down" in a soothing voice is all it takes to get them a lot more upset.

12. If it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

13. I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

14. Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die…

15. Woman: "I got a set of golf clubs for my husband." Friend: "Great trade!"