55 Funny Marriage Quotes that Capture the Humor of Wedding Bliss and Keep the Laughter Alive

Liputan6.com, Jakarta Marriage adds a thread of humor that weaves moments of joy and laughter into everyday life. As couples journeyed to wedded bliss, they soon realized that humor had become an essential partner. It is a saving grace during the highs and lows of married life. From the whimsical to the witty, funny marriage quotes uniquely catch the essence of the mariage journey.

These words offer a shared laugh that resonates with couples around the world. As we explore these humorous, we invite you to take a lighthearted walk through the oddities of wedding bonds. So we can celebrate the universal truth that laughter is the glue that keeps the adventure of marriage alive. 

1. "Who won in life? Me. Because I got to marry you." —Chip Gaines

2. “When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” —Prince Philip

3. “I married for love but the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored.”—Cameron Esposito

4. “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” —Benjamin Franklin

5. “Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.”—Mae West

6. “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” —Benjamin Franklin

7. "Because I always say, if you're married for 50 years, and 10 of them are horrible, you're doing really good!" —Michelle Obama

8. “Before I got married, I had six theories about raising children; now I have six children and no theories.”—John Wilmot

9. “By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you will be happy. If you get a bad one, you will be a philosopher.” —Socrates

10. "A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late." —Frank Sinatra

11. "But the thing is this, after a while, you just want to be with the one that makes you laugh." —Sex and the City

12. "If you're ever with a girl that's too good for you, marry her." —Valentine's Day

13. “A man's main job is to protect his woman from her desire to ‘get bangs’ every other month." —Dax Shepard

14. "I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is." —Forrest Gump15. "Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one." —Mae West

16. "Love is blind; marriage is the eye-opener." —Pauline Thomason

17. "I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." —Rita Rudner

18. “My most brilliant achievement was my ability to persuade my wife to marry me.” —Winston Churchill

19. "A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short." —André Maurois

20. “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” —Erma Bombeck

21. "Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing." —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

22. "My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me." —Winston Churchill

23. “Just found out the wife is writing a book about our honeymoon, called 50 Shades of Just O.K.” —Conan O'Brien

24. “You know there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time... Husband!” —Bill Maher

25. “Only married people can understand how you can be miserable and happy at the same time." —Chris Rock

26. “There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.” —Chris Rock

27. "Husbands are like wine, they take a long time to mature." —Donatella in Letters to Juliet

28. "F*ck it...that's really the attitude that keeps a family together. It's not 'We love each other.' It's just 'f*ck it, man.'" —Louis C.K.

29. "Being a good husband is like being a standup comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner." — Jerry Seinfeld

30. “We were married for better or worse. I couldn’t have done better and she couldn’t have done worse.” —Henny YoungmanFunny Marriage Quotes

31. "Did you know that the institution of marriage was created when the average person lived to the age of 30?" — Kim in The Last Kiss

32. “Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should just live next door and visit now and then.”—Katherine Hepburn

33. "The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest perhaps they're too old to do it." - Ann Bancroft

34. "We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse." - Henry Youngman

35. “The first draft of my vows, which I wrote the day after we got engaged, clocked in at around 70 pages.” – Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation

36. “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?”—Groucho Marx

37. "Before we got married I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets." - Joginder Singh

38. “Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” - Phyllis Diller

39. “What’s the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.” - Cindy Garner

40. “Marriage is like a tense, unfunny, version of ‘Everybody Loves Raymond.’ Only it doesn't last 22. It lasts forever." —Pete in Knocked Up

41. “Husbands and wives are so irritating. But without them, who would we blame for misplacing our socks?”- Janet Periat

42. “When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” Prince Philip

43. “No, please, don’t eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them!” - Homer Simpson

44. “Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is the bicycle repair kit.”- Billy Connolly

45. “I married for love but the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored.” - Cameron Esposito

46. “In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.” - Rita Rudner

47. "Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are." - Will Ferrell

48. “The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.” - Rick Reilly

49. “Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.” - Kathy Mohnke

50. "Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go and live with a car battery." - Emma Bombeck

51. "Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them." - Ogden Nash

52. “The most important four words for a successful marriage: I’ll do the dishes.”

53. “Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” - Jenny Seinfeld

54. “Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.” - Joseph Barth

55. “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” - Groucho Marx

In married life, each funny marriage quote is a colorful stitch. They create a mosaic of shared experiences and enduring love. As we wrap up this exploration of humor in wedded bliss, let us remember that laughter is a momentary break; music accompanies marriage dances. From the playful to the shared laughter over daily tasks, these funny marriage quotes remind us that humor is the secret ingredient to the extraordinary.

So, as you navigate the delightful chaos of marriage, may these quotes be a source of amusement; there is always room for laughter. Embrace the comedy that comes with marriage, for in the laughter shared, you'll find the magic that makes the journey of marriage truly extraordinary.