50 Funny SpongeBob Quotes to Brighten Up Your Day

1. "I'm Ready, I'm Ready, I'm Ready!"

2. “Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.”

3. "The Krusty Krab is unfair! Mr. Krabs is in there! Standing at the concession! Plotting his oppression!"

4. "You don't need a license to drive a sandwich."

5. "This is not your average, everyday darkness. This is... Advanced darkness."

6. “Well, it’s no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets, secretly.”

7. “Excuse me, sir, but you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face.”

8. “I knew a guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy’s cousin…”

9. “Run Mr. Krabs! Run like you’re not in a coma!”

10. “I’m ugly and I’m proud!”

11. "I'm a goofy goober, rock! You're a goofy goober, rock! We're all goofy goobers, rock! Goofy, goofy, goofy, goofy goober, yeah!"

12. “Ravioli ravioli. Give me the formuoli.”

13. “Squidward... I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet!”

14. "Hey, if I close my eyes it doesn’t seem so dark."

15. “I don’t get it. I made my house a mess, which was making it clean, which made Squidward clean my yard, but that really means he’s messing it up. But the opposite of clean is filth, which means filth is clean, that means Squidward is really making my yard a wreck, but I normally wreck my own yard which means, Squidward is being the opposite of Squidward which means he’s Spongebob!”

1. "It's Called the Ugly Barnacle. Once There Was an Ugly Barnacle. He Was So Ugly that Everyone Died. The End.

2. "Is Mayonnaise an Instrument?"

3. "The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma."

4. "Sometimes we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems."

5. “Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are…”

6. "Two words, SpongeBob. Na. Chos."

7. "Well, it may be stupid, but it is also dumb."

8. "I'm so loyal, I haven't bathed in weeks!"

9. “Can you give SpongeBob his brain back, I had to borrow it for the week.”

10. "Now that we're men, I changed my underwear."

11. Patrick: “Who are you calling Pinhead? I wanna be Dirty Dan.”

SpongeBob: “What makes you think you can be Dirty Dan?”

Patrick: “I’m dirty.”

12. “I can’t see my forehead!”

13. “Nonsense, my vocabulary is infinitely expanding!”

14. “I guess hibernation is the opposite of beauty sleep!”

15. “Can I have everybody’s attention?… I have to use the bathroom.”

1. “Stupidity isn’t a virus, but it sure is spreading like one.” - Sandy

2. SpongeBob: “I used to have a dream.”

Mr. Krabs: “Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone. Everything passes eventually.”

3. "Wake me up when I care."

4. Caller: “Is this the Krusty Krab?”

Patrick: “No, this is Patrick.”

5. SpongeBob: “Aw, cheer up, Squid! It could be worse!”

Patrick: “Yeah. You could be bald and have a big nose.”

6. "Did you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells... smelly."

7. “I order the food, you cook the food. The customer gets the food. We do that for 40 years, and then we die.”

8. SpongeBob: “Quick, Patrick, without thinking: if you could have anything right now, what would it be?“

Patrick: “Um… more time for thinking.”

9. SpongeBob: “What’s better than serving up smiles?“

Squidward: “Being dead or anything else.”

10. “Too bad SpongeBob’s not here to enjoy SpongeBob not being here.”

11. “That’s it, mister! You just lost your brain privileges!”

12. “So much later that the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one.” - Narrator

13. "It's just a cruel reminder that I'm single and likely to remain that way forever."

14. “F is for a fire that burns down the whole town, U is for Uranium… bombs! N is for no survivors!”

15. “What doesn’t kill you, usually succeeds in the second attempt.”

16. Patrick: "Is Sandy the one I call 'Mom'?"

SpongeBob: "No Patrick, that’s your mother."

17. “You wouldn’t know cool if I locked you in the freezer!”

18. “Another day, another migraine.”

19. SpongeBob: "Eww, I think I stepped in something."

Plankton: "Not in something, on someone!"

20. “Well, the way I see it, there are three possibilities: One, you stole it; two, you stole it; or three, you stole it!”