60 Tuesday Jokes to Brighten Up Your Day

1. How do you organise a fantastic space party on a Tuesday? You planet!

2. What does a taxidermist do on Tuesdays? Nothing special, just the usual stuff!

3. Why are Sundays stronger and more powerful than Tuesdays? Because Tuesday is just a weak-day.

4. I bought a second-hand time machine next Tuesday. They don't make them like they're going to anymore!

5. What is unique about Tuesday? It is the day to remember all the things you did not finish on Monday and push them off till Wednesday!

6. What do Tuesdays always love to do? They like to put the blame on Mondays.

7. What is big at the weekend, small on Tuesday and disappears on Monday? The letter S!

8. I just saw a fun fact: "Babies are more likely to be born on Tuesdays." As opposed to what? Adults being born on Tuesdays?

9. Why couldn't Tuesday have fun with his friends? Because he could never see the weekend from there.

10. What do procrastinators do on Tuesdays? Decide they'll start work next Tuesday!

11. If Tuesday were a person, they would be that one annoying co-worker you can't stand.

12. What do you do when Tuesday is standing outside your bathroom door? You let it sink in.

13. When did the King have his jousting contests? On Tuesday Knight!

14. What do you call a Tuesday that acts like a Monday? A two-faced day!

15. Why would you call Tuesday 22nd in February 2022? A Two's day full of 22/2/22.

16. How do you make time go fast on a Tuesday? Throw a clock!

17. Why did Tuesday get lost on the way to work? Because it thought it was still Monday!

18. How do you keep the dreams alive on Tuesdays? By hitting the snooze button.

19. What can really ruin your Friday? Finding out it's only Tuesday!

20. What did the weeks say to the boy when he was really worried about Tuesday? "Don't worry, Friday is on its way".

1. What day of the week do monsters eat people? Chewsday!

2. Why don't children eat lunch on Tuesday? Because it is too much chews-day!

3. Why didn't the eggs go to school after Tuesday? They were all eggs-hausted and were afraid of the following day – the Humpty day!

4. Why didn't the skeleton laugh at these Tuesday jokes? She didn't find them humerus!

5. What did the right eye say to the left eye? Between us, something smells.

6. Why were my neighbours walking barefoot in their garden? Because they were celebrating open Toesday!

7. When doesn't Tuesday start with a "T"? When it's Yesterday!

8. What do you call a Tuesday in a suit and tie? It's a business day.

9. How do you mark the day when the baby chews food for the first time on Tuesday? You call it a 'Chewsday'.

10. What's a mathematician's favourite day of the week? Two-esday!

11. Why is there less air travel on Tuesdays? Because you are supposed Tues-day on the ground!

12. What is a stuttering ballerinas favourite day of the week? Tu-Tu Tuesday

13. It's Shrove Tuesday already… Really creped up on me!

14. What is a robot's favourite day of the week? Circuit Sunday, oh wait, I meant Tuesday!

15. Why can't the kids take a ferry to school on Tuesday? Because they have Tuesday(to-use-da) roadway to reach the school.

16. What follows four days of rain in the UK? Tuesday!

17. What is the best place to grow flowers in school? The kindergarden.

18. Why didn't the teacher read Tuesday morning news? Because she didn't want additional Tuesday mournings.

19. What's the best thing about Tuesdays? They only happen once a week!

20. Why shouldn't you eat a kids meal on Tuesdays? You shouldn't eat a kid's meal on any day because their mother will get angry with you!

1. Why were Taco Tuesdays introduced? Because they wanted to give us something to taco 'bout the whole week.

2. How do tacos say grace? "Lettuce pray."

3. What does Pac-Man put on his tacos? Guacauacauacauacauacauacauacauamole.

4. Why did taco cry on a Tuesday when it was supposed to be happy because it was Taco Tuesday? Because a nacho said to it, "I am nacho friend anymore".

5. Why don't you want to "taco" 'bout it? 'Cause I'm "nacho" friend anymore.

6. Why did Pooh like Taco Tuesdays? Because they help in enhancing his roundness for the rest of the week.

7. What is a taco's favorite musical genre? Wrap 'n' roll.

8. What does Taco Tuesday say to Dunkin Donuts? I have fillings too.

9. Why shouldn't you trust tacos? Because they always spill the beans.

10. How do tacos share stories about their scary experiences up until Tuesday? "and then came the savior, Tuesday!"

11. What did the taco say to the guacamole? "Avocado adoration for you."

12. What is the best Tuesday motivation? Thinking that there is a taco, out there in the universe thinking of you too!

13. What do you call a terrestrial reptile who loves Mexican food? A tacodile.

14. Why did the Mexican restaurant get such a great review on Tuesday night? It was nacho average Taco Tuesday!

15. Did you hear about the tortilla rebellion? It was a hostile "taco-ver."

16. What's a taco's favorite TV show? Better Call Salsa.

17. Last night I made fish tacos. They just looked at them and swam away.

18. Why did the baker open a tortilla factory? For the extra dough.

19. Why did the taco chef stop cooking? He ran out of thyme.

20. How do you make a taco stand? You take away its chair.