80 Marvel Jokes That Are Truly Marvelous

1. What does Peter Parker tell people he does for a living? Web designer.

2. What do you get when Iron Man takes off his suit? Stark naked.

3. Why were the Avengers fighting blind after Infinity War? They lost their Vision.

4. What would be the name of a group chat with Hulk, Thanos, and Iron Man? SnapChat.

5. How is Aluminum Man different from Iron Man? Iron Man defeats villains but Aluminum Man can only foil their attempts.

6. Why is Thor's brother great at sneaking around? He is very Loki.

7. What should you tell people when you're looking for Captain Marvel's cat? That you're on a wild Goose chase.

8. Why does Thanos get unlimited hot beverages everywhere he goes? He has the Gauntlet of Infinite-tea.

9. What do you call it when Iron Man does a cartwheel? A ferrous wheel.

10. How will you determine that you are in a Marvel movie? You are bound to bump into Stan Lee randomly at some point in your life.

11. What's always missing from Tony Stark's kitchen? The pepper pots.

12. Why did Iron Man think that Thanos is pessimistic? He's a universe half-empty kind of person.

13. What is the common thing between Benedict Cumberbatch and his Marvel character? The last names of each are strange.

14. Why was Captain America patiently waiting for so long to wield Mjolnir? He did not want to steal Thor's thunder.

15. Which color do all the lights in Wanda's apartment have? No idea, but they can be turned on with a Scarlet Switch.

16. What did Black Widow say to Hawkeye? "You make me quiver."

17. If Captain America's shield is vibranium, what is Hawkeye's shield? Quicksilver.

18. Why did Thanos knit himself a glove after losing the gauntlet in Endgame? Because he wanted an Infi-knit-y Gauntlet.

19. What OS do the supervillains of the MCU use? Than OS.

20. Which Marvel actress got arrested stealing a truck of soft French cheese? Brie Larceny.

21. Are you obsessed with Black Widow, Captain Marvel, and Scarlet Witch? You may be a heroine addict.

22. What kind of car does Black Panther like to drive? A T'Challanger.

23. How does Black Panther like his steak? Wakanda style.

24. Where do the Avengers go to drink coffee? Starkbucks.

25. What is Iron Man's favorite movie? Ferrous Bueller.

26. Why did Iron Man go to therapy? He had too much inner conflict.

27. Why did Deadpool apply for a job? Because he needed a "regenerate" income.

28. What do you call Iron Man without his suit? Stark naked.

29. What's the Avengers' favorite day of the week? Thorsday.

30. Which Avenger is the best gardener? The Hulk, because of his green thumb.

31. Why is Spider-Man so good at playing baseball? He always catches the flies.

32. What is the favorite song of Hulk? "It's Not Easy Being Green."

33. What was Captain America called when he was young? Lieutenant America.

34. What is Dr. Strange's cousin's name who cannot do magic? Doctor Normal.

35. What did Thor say when he came across a rabbit on his way? "Hey, raccoon!"

36. What does Hawkeye like to wear with his suits? A bow tie.

37. What do the Avengers shout when they hit a golf ball? "Thor!"

38. Why did Spider-Man join the swim team? Because he had webbed feet.

39. Which is the favorite outdoor sport that Spider-Man loves? Fly fishing.

40. What is Thor's favorite element? Thorium.

41. What was T'Challa's nickname as a baby? Black Pampers.

42. How do Ant-Man and the Wasp travel? They take the buzz.

43. What happens when Iron Man, Thor, and Hulk walk into IKEA? "Avengers, assemble!"

44. Which supervillain gets sick while flying to destroy New York? The Green Goblin.

45. What is Thor's favorite food? Thunder-burgers!

46. Why did Spider-Man join the computer class? To improve his web design skills.

47. What do you call a tree that guards the galaxy? Groot.

48. How does the Hulk listen to music? With his HULKphones.

49. What does Thor wear under his armor? Thunderwear.

50. Why did Groot get a job? He wanted to branch out.

51. What do you call Captain America's dog? A star-spangled barker.

52. Why did Spider-Man take a job as a teacher? He wanted to teach web development.

53. What do you get when you cross Thor and a guitar? Rock 'n' Thor.

54. How does Tony Stark keep his clothes wrinkle-free? Iron Man.

55. What's Spider-Man's favorite type of rice? Uncle Ben's.

56. Why did Thor take up knitting? He wanted to make Asgard-wear.

57. Was fixing the universe hard for the Hulk? No, it was a snap.

58. What would you call Hulk if he didn't shave for quite some time? Mark Scruffalo.

59. What species of spider is friendly with all of the Avengers and lives in their headquarters? A Black Widow.

60. What did Captain America say at the beginning of the orchestra? "Avengers, ensemble!"

61. What do you call the King of Asgard when he lives in Williamsburg? A hips-thor.

62. Why was Iron Man not satisfied with his new assistant? Well, he wasn't Happy.

63. Which Avenger is the most trustworthy? The Credible Hulk.

64. Why does Tony Stark stand in the rain? To get a bit of rust.

65. Why are the Avengers so handy with tools? They're always assembling.

66. What would Thor do if he finds an injured person? Norse him.

67. Which Avenger is always in a hurry? Black Widow; she's Russian.

68. What happens when you cross Quicksilver with the Hulk? The Fast and the Furious.

69. Where do the Avengers go to get their laundry pressed? Iron Man.

70. What did Wolverine do when he was working at a salad bar? He was shredding carrots.

71. How does the Hulk feel when he wears a suit? He looks smashing.

72. Why does Thor's brother never make a good impression at parties? He's too Low-key.

73. Which Marvel heroine likes to travel with a map and a backpack and her trusty sidekick Boots? Gamora the Explorer.

74. Which Marvel character is the readiest for the summer? Tan-os.

75. How much does it cost to kill Tony Stark's family? One Buck.

76. How does Odinson feel after carrying around Mjolnir all day? He feels Thor.

77. Why was Thanos so crazy? He snapped!

78. What would you get if you crossed Captain America with Hulk? The Star-Spangled Banner.

79. Why do the Avengers use the Hulk to advertise their services? He's essentially a giant Banner.

80. Did you know that each Avenger, on average, can only have about ten minutes of screen time? It's a little mean.