50 Funny Drinking Quotes That Will Make You Spit Out Your Drink

Liputan6.com, Jakarta Drinking with friends can be fun, and funny drinking quotes can make it even better. These clever sayings about alcohol can make people laugh and feel good. They can be great for starting conversations or making toasts at parties.

People enjoy drinking for many reasons, and funny drinking quotes often reflect these reasons. Some drink to relax after a long day at work. Others use it to celebrate good times with friends and family. Drinking can help people feel less stressed and more social.

In this article, we have selected some of the best funny drinking quotes from various sources, Tuesday (3/9/2024). Grab your favorite drink and enjoy these funny quotes about drinking. But be careful because these hilarious quotes can make you spit out your drink.

1. “After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.” - Oscar Wilde

2. "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.” - George Carlin

3. “They say as soon as you have to cut down on your drinking, you have a drinking problem.” - Don Draper, Mad Men

4. “Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.” - Steve Martin

5. “I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.” - Winston Churchill

6. "To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems." - Homer Simpson

7. "Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy." - Frank Sinatra

8. "I drink to forget I drink." - Joe E. Lewis

9. "Alcohol doesn't make you smarter. It makes you funnier." - Unknown

10. "An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do." - Dylan Thomas

11. "Don't trust a brilliant idea unless it survives the hangover." - Jimmy Breslin

12. "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." - Henny Youngman

13. “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” - Humphrey Bogart

14. “I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.” - Joe E. Ellis

15. “I drink alcohol to drown my problems, unfortunately my problems are damn good swimmers.” - Unknown

16. “Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.” - Mark Twain

17. “They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am.” - Stephen Colbert

18. “There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.” - Chelsea Handler

19. "I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me." - Winston Churchill

20. “In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power, and in water there is bacteria.” - Unknown

21. “An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.” - Ernest Hemingway

22. “The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.” - Unknown

23. "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - Dean Martin

24. "I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast." - W. C. Fields

25. “Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” - Oscar Wilde

26. “I only drink Champagne on two occasions, when I am in love and when I am not.” - Coco Chanel.

27. “I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year’s eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking.” - Unknown

28. “Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean: against tables, chairs, walls, floors and ugly people.” - Unknown

29. “Always do sober what you said you’d do when you were drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut!” - Ernest Hemingway

30. “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald

1. "Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer." - Arnold Schwarzenegger

2. "Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world." - Wilhelm II

3. “He was a wise man who invented beer.” - Plato

4. “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” - Benjamin Franklin

5. “I work until beer o’clock.” - Stephen King

6. “Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit and promotes health.” - Thomas Jefferson

7. “Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.” - Unknown

8. "Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder." - Kinky Friedman

9. "They who drink beer will think beer." - Washington Irving

10. "Buy a man a beer, and he wastes an hour. Teach a man to brew, and he wastes a lifetime." - Charlie Papazian

1. "I prefer my water in wine form." - P. C. Cast

2. “If I ever go missing, I want my picture on a wine bottle instead of a milk carton, this way my friends will know I am missing.” - Unknown

3. “Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” - Pope John XXIII

4. “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.” - Joan Collins

5. “I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.” - Unknown

6. “I drink wine because my doctor said I shouldn’t keep things bottled up.” - Unknown

7. “Of course size matters. No one wants a small glass of wine.” - Unknown

8. “Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.” - Louis Pasteur

9. "In wine, there is truth." - Pliny the Elder

10. "My only regret in life is that I did not drink more wine." - Ernest Hemingway