44 Husband Quotes Funny That Will Give You Barrels of Laughs

Liputan6.com, Jakarta Marriage comes with its challenges, but it also brings plenty of moments worth laughing about. One of the best ways to lighten the mood is through husband quotes funny enough to make anyone smile, regardless of their relationship status.

Husbands have a special talent for creating these funny moments. Whether it's their unique problem-solving methods, their selective hearing, or their confident but questionable decisions, husbands provide endless material for jokes and quotes. These husband quotes funny observations are not meant to be mean-spirited but rather celebrate the amusing side of partnership.

This collection features husband quotes funny enough that many people will recognize from their own relationships. Whether you're married, planning a wedding speech, or simply enjoy relatable humor, these quotes offer a lighthearted look at married life. Let's explore some of the funniest observations about husbands.

1. "I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes... She hugged me."

2. "The husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!"

3. "I and my wife are happy. At least when we are not together."

4. "Don't stop dating your WIFE and never stop flirting with your HUSBAND."

5. "Let husband and wife never speak to one another in loud tones, unless the house is on fire."

6. "To catch a husband is an art; to hold him is a job."

7. "I love being my husband's wife."

8. "Only a widow can say exactly where her husband is."

9. "My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me."

10. "Marriage is just fancy a word to adopt an over grown male child who is no longer handled by his parents."

11. "Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!"

12. "Marriage is a workshop – where the husband works & the wife shops."

13. "My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside."

14. "A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."

15. "A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife."

16. "My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't."

17. "Marriage is a relationship when one person is always right and the other is the husband."

18. "My darling, this scenery makes me speechless. Husband: perfect, we are setting up tenet here."

19. "Behind every successful man is a surprised woman."

20. "Husbands are the best persons to share your secrets with… They won't tell anyone because they aren't even listening"

21. "A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished."

22. "My husband thinks I am crazy but I am not the one who married me."

23. "I vow to love all of you, snoring included."

24. "I don't need Google, my husband knows everything."

25. "When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one."

26. "A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted"

27. "A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house."

28. "Husband: I am a grown man, stop mothering me. Also husband: Have you seen my keys? Have you seen my wallet? Where did we park? I don't have clean underwear"

29. "One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife!"

30. "A husband's last words should always be 'ok buy it'."

31. "Tell her she is beatiful instead of hot… She is your wife not temperature."

32. "When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife."

33. "The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button." - Rick Reilly

34. "Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park."

35. "The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes." – Oscar Wilde

36. "Handsome husbands often make a wife's heart ache." – Samuel Richardson

37. "I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry"

38. "Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!"

39. "One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip"

40. "I told my ex I felt like killing him and he said I needed professional help. So I hired a hitman"

41. "We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better and she couldn't have done worse." - Henny Youngman

42. "My darling, this scenery makes me speechless. Husband: Perfect, we're setting up tent here."

43. "My husband wears the pants in my house.. The ones I pick"

44. "My husband says he'll fix it. That's his way of saying we'll be living with it forever."