150 Funny Halloween Jokes That Will Make Anyone Laugh Out Loud in the Party

1. Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he had no body to go with!

2. What's a ghost's favorite dessert? Ice scream!

3. Why don't mummies take vacations? They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

4. What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese!

5. Why are graveyards noisy? Because of all the coffin!

6. What do you call two witches sharing an apartment? Broommates.

7. What kind of monster loves disco? The boogeyman!

8. What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist!

9. Why was the broom late? It over-swept!

10. What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist.

11. What's a witch's favorite shape? A hex-agon.

12. Why don't mummies make good boyfriends? Too clingy.

13. Where do witches get their nails done? The scare salon.

14. What's a zombie's favorite bean? A human bean.

15. What's a werewolf's favorite day of the week? Moonday.

16. Why was the witch feeling down? She was going through a bad spell.

17. What's a ghost's favorite fruit? Boo-nanas.

18. What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin.

19. Are any Halloween monsters good at math? No—unless you Count Dracula!

20. What genre of music does a mummy like the best? Wrap!

21. Why are zombies so hard to understand? They're very crypt-ic.

22. What did the pumpkins say at happy hour? Let's get smashed.

23. How do you repair a broken jack o' lantern? Use a pumpkin patch.

24. What monster plays tricks on Halloween? Prank-enstein!

25. Why did the vampire fail art? He only knew how to draw blood.

1. How do ghosts wash their hair? With sham-boo!

2. What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurry? Spook-tacles.

3. Why did the vampire get a job at the blood bank? He always wanted to work with his type!

4. What do you call a witch's garage? A broom closet.

5. What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper.

6. What kind of dog does Dracula have? A bloodhound!

7. What do ghosts serve for dessert? Boo-berry pie!

8. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.

9. Why was the mummy so tense? He was all wound up!

10. What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A blood orange.

11. Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the boos!

12. What kind of pants do ghosts wear? Boo jeans.

13. Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.

14. What's a ghost's favorite Halloween game? Hide and shriek!

15. How do monsters like their eggs? Terri-fried.

16. What's a zombie's favorite cereal? Raisin Brrraaain!

17. Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Day-scare centers.

18. What's a monster's favorite snack? Ghoul scout cookies.

19. Why did the spider join Instagram? To improve his web presence.

20. What animal is best at baseball? A bat!

21. What do you use to mend a jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin patch!

22. What do birds give to trick-or-treaters? Tweets!

23. What does Tweety Bird say on Halloween? Twick or Tweet

24. What's the scariest type of cutlery? A spoooooon!

25. Who delivers monster babies? The Franken-stork!

1. Knock, knock. Who's there? Getyur. Getyur who? Getyur fangs outta my neck!

2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad it's Halloween.

3. Knock, knock. Who's there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to give me more candy.

4. Knock, knock. Who's there? Handsome. Handsome who? Handsome candy to me.

5. Knock, knock. Who's there? Norway. Norway who? Norway I will leave until I get candy!

6. Knock, knock. Who's there? Tyson. Tyson who? Tyson garlic around your neck to keep the vampires away.

7. Knock, knock. Who's there? Fangs! Fangs who? Fangs for letting me in!

8. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ice Cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream every time I see a ghost!

9. Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry—I'm a friendly ghost!

10. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ivanna. Ivanna who? Ivanna suck your blood!

11. Knock, knock. Who's there? Witches. Witches who? Witches the way to the haunted house?

12. Knock, knock. Who's there? Phillip. Phillip who? Phillip my Halloween bucket!

13. Knock, knock. Who's there? Aida. Aida who? Aida whole bag of candy while trick or treating.

14. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ben! Ben who? Ben waiting for Halloween all year!

15. Knock, knock. Who's there? Olive! Olive who? Olive your Halloween costume!

16. Knock, knock. Who's there? Abby. Abby who? Abby Halloween!

17. Knock, knock. Who's there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda go out trick-or-treating with me tonight?

18. Knock, knock. Who's there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for your Halloween party!

19. Knock, knock. Who's there? Voodoo. Voodoo who? Voodoo you think you are asking all these questions?

20. Knock, knock. Who's there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and answer the door! It's cold out here.

21. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Felix. Felix who? Felix-cited about Halloween.

22. Knock, knock. Who's there? Gladys. Gladys who? Gladys Halloween.

23. Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter! Butter who? Butter open quick, I have a funny Halloween joke to tell you!

24. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ghost says! Ghost says who? No, ghost says boo!

25. Knock, knock. Who's there? Frank! Frank who? Frankenstein.

1. Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had nobody to dance with.

2. Why didn't the skeleton laugh at the joke? Because he didn't have a funny bone.

3. Why can't skeletons play church music? Because they have no organs.

4. What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend? "Will you marrow me?"

5. Why didn't the skeleton go on the rollercoaster? It didn't have the guts.

6. How do you know when a skeleton is sick? It runs a high femur.

7. What is a skeleton's favourite thing to do with their mobile phone? Take skelfies.

8. Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.

9. What did the skeleton order at the restaurant? Spare ribs!

10. Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop!

11. Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.

12. How do French skeletons say hello? "Bone-jour!"

13. What is a skeleton's favorite instrument? A trom-bone.

14. Why did the skeleton climb up the tree? Because a dog was after his bones!

15. How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He could feel it in his bones.

16. What do you call a skeleton detective? Sherlock Bones.

17. What's a skeleton's favorite song? Bone to be Wild.

18. Why do skeletons drink lots of milk? It's good for your bones.

19. What do you call a skeleton who refuses to work? Lazy bones.

20. What's a skeleton's least favorite room in the house? The living room.

21. Why did the skeleton argue with his friend? He had a bone to pick.

22. What does a skeleton say after a meal? "That hit the spot... my ribcage."

23. Why did the skeleton quit his job? His heart wasn't in it.

24. What did the skeleton wear to the Halloween party? A human costume!

25. Why don't they play music in skeleton church? No organs!

1. What do zombies eat for breakfast? Screambled eggs.

2. Why did the zombie go to school? He wanted to improve his "dead"ucation.

3. What did the zombie say after a meal? "Dead-icated to eating!"

4. Why didn't the zombie go to school? He felt rotten.

5. What does a zombie call his parents? Mummy and Deady.

6. On which street did the zombie buy a home? The one with the dead end.

7. What is a zombie's favorite appetizer? Finger food!

8. What's a zombies favourite bean? A human bean!

9. Why did the zombie get kicked out of church? It tried to eat the organ.

10. What's a zombie's favorite workout? Deadlifts.

11. How did the zombie become great at trick or treating? Dead-ication!

12. Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately.

13. Why did the zombie stay home from school? He felt rotten!

14. What did the zombie say to the villager? Nice to eat you!

15. Why are zombies always hired as make-up artists? Because they have to put their face on every morning!

16. Why did the zombie never eat comedians? They taste funny!

17. What kind of streets do zombies prefer? Dead ends!

18. What do zombies have for school lunches? Human beans, fried legs and eyes cream!

19. Did you hear about the zombie cow? He wants to eat your GRAAAAIIIIINNNS!

20. What should you do at a Halloween party if a zombie rolls their eyes at you? Roll them back to them!

21. When do zombies finish trick or treating? When they are dead tired.

22. Why don't zombies like office jobs? They can't deal with the deadlines.

23. Why was the zombie a great motivational speaker? He really knew how to flesh out a point.

24. Why did the zombie get a job? He was dead serious about his career.

25. Why didn't the zombie cross the road? They didn't have the guts!

1. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite!

2. What's it like to be kissed by a vampire? It's a pain in the neck.

3. Which fruit is a vampire's favorite? Neck-tarine!

4. What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires? Fangs-giving.

5. Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.

6. How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.

7. Why did the vampire read the New York Times? He heard it had great circulation.

8. What's a vampire's least-favorite food? Stake.

9. How do vampires start their letters? "Tomb it may concern ... "

10. Why should you never tell a vampire to get a life? Because it might decide to take yours.

11. What did the vampire doctor say to his patient? You need more iron.

12. Why did the vampire become a vegetarian? Because he couldn't find any more necks to bite.

13. Why do vampires hate jokes? Because they suck.

14. What's a vampire's favorite drink? A Bloody Mary.

15. What did the vampire say after drinking blood from a bodybuilder? "Whew, that's strong!"

16. What is the name of Dracula's vegan brother? Count rucola.

17. What is worse than a hungry vampire? A thirsty vampire.

18. What is a vampire's favorite fast food? A person with very high blood pressure.

19. What do vampires use to power their flashlights? Bat-teries.

20. What kind of candy do vampires eat? Suckers.

21. Why did the vampire go to the doctor? It was coffin.

22. Why did the vampire go to therapy? To work on his bite issues.

23. Why do vampires love baseball? They love to bat.

24. What do you call a vampire who is always sleepy? Count Yawn.

25. What's a vampire's favorite sport? Bat-minton.