liputan6
:strip_icc()/kly-media-production/medias/5407201/original/058790600_1762675219-ChatGPT_Image_Nov_9__2025__02_53_32_PM.png)
Liputan6.com, Jakarta Life can be stressful sometimes. Work, family, and daily problems can make us tired and worried. A good laugh helps us feel better and forget our troubles for a moment. Simple nut jokes can bring a smile to your face and brighten your day.
It's not hard to find funny jokes to tickle your funny bones. In fact, we can make jokes with anything around us, including nuts. There are so many hilarious nut jokes that are so silly that they will make you burst out laughing. These simple jokes will instantly improve your mood and day.
If you are in need of some good laughs, don't worry. Here, we have gathered some funny nut jokes from various sources, Sunday (9/11/2025). These silly jokes are perfect for all ages and will make everyone totally nuts.
Advertisement
The Funniest Nut Jokes
:strip_icc()/kly-media-production/medias/5407202/original/099060700_1762675219-fd7e4a5b-2bd4-42bd-a5d3-f65d38456abd.png)
1. Which nut is worth the most? A cash-ew.
2. What do you call a nut in space? An astro-nut.
3. Why did the nut go to the bank? To cashew its check.
4. What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
5. Why did the peanut go to therapy? He felt a little nutty!
6. What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that's running late.
7. Which nut has won the World Cup the most times? A Brazil nut.
8. What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip? A mustach-io.
9. Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party? He was roasted.
10. What did the nut say when it was chasing another nut? "I'm gonna cashew!"
11. How do you catch an elephant? Act like a peanut.
12. What did the pecan say to the walnut? We make a nutty pair.
13. Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise? He was paid peanuts.
14. What do you call a nut stuck to a wall? A walnut.
15. What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt? It becomes a chestnut.
16. Why did the pistachio get fired? It kept cracking up at work!
17. What do you call someone with a walnut-sized brain? Nuts.
18. Which nut loves chess? A chess-nut.
19. What's a peanut's favourite Shakespeare line? "To be or nut to be."
20. Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain? He wanted them rusted.
21. Why didn't the pecan go to the ballet? It was afraid of the nutcracker.
22. What do elephants drink on vacation? Peanut coladas.
23. What competition do nuts participate in? The peanut butter cup.
24. What is a popular name for girl peanuts? Michelle.
25. Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew? It was nut funny.
Advertisement
Silly Nut Jokes for Kids
26. Where do squirrels go for fun? The acorn-ival.
27. What do squirrels eat at the fair? A-corn dog.
28. How do you get a squirrel to be your friend? Act like a nut.
29. What kind of nuts come in cans? Creamed a-corn.
30. Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road? It went with the traffic jam.
31. What do you call a nut at the beach? A sea-salted peanut!
32. Why was the nut always picked first in gym class? Because it was really good at pecan!
33. Why was the pistachio feeling guilty? It was being a bit shell-fish!
34. Why did the squirrel go to the library? To check out a book on how to crack nuts!
35. How do walnuts communicate? They use shell phones.
36. Why was the macadamia good at math? It knew how to crack the numbers!
37. What do you call a pecan that's a doctor? A pecan-trician!
38. Why don't nuts tell secrets? Because they're afraid of getting cracked!
39. What's a hazelnut's favorite dessert? Nutella.
40. Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the peanut.
41. Who answers the door at the peanut mansion? The peanut butler.
42. What's a nut's favorite scary movie? The Creature from the Black Legume.
43. Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost? The nearest Shell station.
44. Which nut is the best at playing tag? Catch-yous aka cashews.
45. What do chipmunks like to watch on TV? Anything nutty!
46. Why do squirrels love going to school? To learn about nut-ure!
47. What do you call a squirrel who loves math? A calcu-nut!
48. What do you call a pecan that's good at math? Calcu-nut-or!
49. Why did the nut sit on the clock? Because it wanted to be on time!
50. What's a nut's favorite color? Chest-nut brown!
Funny One Liners and Nut Puns
:strip_icc()/kly-media-production/medias/5407203/original/035919800_1762675220-unnamed__24_.jpg)
51. Cashew a question? Nut now!
52. You pe-can do it!
53. I walnut tell a soul!
54. Cashew see I'm nuts about you!?
55. It's nut worth the hassle.
56. Nut-thing can stop us now!
57. You drive me nuts!
58. Nut another word!
59. I'm going to get to the kernel of this issue.
60. You're a tough nut to crack.
61. Nut today, Satan!
62. In a nutshell, you're amazing!
63. Shell we dance?
64. I'm coming out of my shell for you!
65. Don't be shellfish, share the nuts!
66. The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.
67. I'd tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.
68. Your secret is safe with me. I walnut tell a soul!
69. If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
70. Pistachio can't, but pe-can.
71. Float like a butternut, sting like a bee.
72. A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, "In a nutshell, it's an oak tree."
73. Donuts are the worst nut for your diet.
74. I have no problem getting dates online. I've also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
75. For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio. But that's just me in a nutshell.
Advertisement
Dad Jokes About Nuts
76. What did one nut say to the other? "Cashew later."
77. How did the nut study for its test? It used the inter-nut.
78. What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party? "Nice spread!"
79. Why couldn't the peanut finish the project? Work came to a grinding halt.
80. What did the mama nut say to her son? "If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy."
81. What do you call an angry nut with a mustache? A pistachio.
82. What happens to a nervous nut? It cracks.
83. What sandwich spread makes people itch? Flea-nut butter.
84. What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio? He became a shell of who he once was.
85. What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument? Imma cashew outside!
86. The cashew called the peanut boring. The peanut felt very unsalted.
87. What do you call super expensive shoes? Cashews.
88. Knock, knock. Who's there? Peanut. Peanut who? Peanut butter open the door!
89. Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? I butter nut tell you.
90. Knock, knock. Who's there? Cash. Cash who? No thanks, I prefer walnuts.
91. Knock, knock. Who's there? Walnut. Walnut who? I walnut tell you. It's a secret.
92. When is the peanut butter due to arrive? In a Jif.
93. How do you sum up a cashew? In a nutshell.
94. Why did the squirrel sit in the same spot all winter? He'd buried his nuts there.
95. Which nut cries the most? Assaulted Peanut.
96. How do you know if someone's lost their marbles? They start playing with their nuts instead.
97. What's the most expensive nut? An almond leg.
98. Which nuts are small, brown and hang from branches? Monkey nuts.
99. When do peanuts make you feel good? When they're complimentary.
100. Which nut wears a bra? A chestnut.