130 Mustache Jokes That Will Tickle Your Funny Bones

1. Why did the rapper shave off his fancy mustache? He couldn't handle the bars!

2. I never liked the idea of having a mustache, but then it grew on me!

3. How does a mustache flirt? It winks with a whisker!

4. What do you call a cow's moustache? A moostache!

5. Why was the mustache so confident? It knew it was a cut above!

6. I found a fake mustache on a squash. It really caught me off gourd!

7. Why did the mustache get a job? It wanted to grow up!

8. Someone glued a mustache to my face. I can't pull it off!

9. What comes after Movember? Decembeard!

10. Why was the mustache so calm? It kept a stiff upper lip!

11. I spent years searching for the perfect mustache. It was right under my nose the whole time!

12. How does a mustache stay in shape? It does curl-ups!

13. Where are old and legendary mustaches kept? In a moseum!

14. Why did the mustache join a band? It had the best handlebars!

15. "Dad, there's a man at the door with a mustache." "Tell him I've already got one!"

16. What's a bike's favourite type of moustache? Handlebar!

17. Why was the mustache late? It got caught in a hairy situation!

18. Did you hear about the scientist with a mustache? He had a razor sharp mind!

19. How does a mustache make friends? It grows on you!

20. Why did the mustache grooming business flop? Because of the razor-thin margins!

21. What do you call an Astronaut's moustache? Spacial Hair!

22. Why was the mustache embarrassed? It was caught curling!

23. I grew a mustache without anyone knowing. It's my secret 'stache!

24. How does a mustache travel? By upper-lip express!

25. Why don't people with mustaches need vacuums? Because they already have a crumb catcher on their face!

26. What's a mustache's favorite game? Whisker Twister!

27. How does a mustache stay cool? It hangs out in the shade!

28. Why did the mustache go to school? To brush up on style!

29. Did you hear about the priest with a fake nose and mustache? He was a blessing in disguise!

30. Why was the mustache so popular? It was the talk of the lip!

31. My barber suggested I change my mustache color. I told him I'd dye before doing that!

32. What do you call it when a mustache grows on your cheek? A misstache!

33. Why did the mustache get promoted? It was a real upper-lip leader!

34. I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!

35. Why are the careers of celebrity mustaches so short lived? They're hair today, gone tomorrow!

36. How come people with mustaches lose them so often? They're hiding right under their noses!

37. Why did the mustache go to therapy? It had an identity crisis!

38. The barber took care of my mustache today. I look trimmingdously handsome!

39. Why was the mustache so wise? It had years of growth!

40. Whenever I see a man with a mustache and glasses, I think he really doesn't want people doodling on pics of him!

1. How does a mustache dance? With a whisker wiggle!

2. Why did the mustache get a cape? To be a super 'stache!

3. What's a mustache's favorite fruit? A fuzzy peach!

4. Why did the mustache join the circus? It was a hairy performer!

5. How does a mustache sing? With lip-syncing whiskers!

6. Why was the mustache so silly? It loved to twirl!

7. What's a mustache's favorite book? The Little Whisker That Could!

8. Why did the mustache go to the playground? To swing on the whiskers!

9. Why was the mustache so friendly? It loved to wave at kids!

10. What's a mustache's favorite toy? A whisker spinner!

11. How does a mustache make art? With a bristle brush!

12. Why did the mustache get a hat? To look extra cool!

13. Why was the mustache so excited? It grew an extra inch!

14. What's a mustache's favorite color? Bristle blue!

15. Why did the mustache go to the party? To be the lip of the fun!

16. How does a mustache play hide-and-seek? It covers the lip!

17. What's a mustache's favorite animal? A fuzzy caterpillar!

18. Why was the mustache so giggly? It heard a tickly joke!

19. Why did the mustache join a team? To be the lip captain!

20. How does a mustache travel? On a lip rocket!

21. Why was the mustache so kind? It shared its comb!

22. What's a mustache's favorite snack? Crumbly cookies!

23. Why did the mustache go to school? To learn how to curl!

24. Why was the mustache so brave? It wasn't afraid of the razor!

25. How does a mustache tell stories? With a hairy twist!

26. What's a mustache's favorite game? Tag, you're bristled!

27. Why did the mustache go to the zoo? To see the lion's mane!

28. How does a mustache go to the park? On a lip slide!

29. Why was the mustache so happy? It got a comb-over!

30. What's a mustache's favorite treat? A hairy gummy bear!

1. Why was the mustache so curious? It always asked hairy questions!

2. What's a mustache's favorite car? A convertible, for the breeze!

3. How does a mustache stay warm? It wears a lip scarf!

4. Why did the mustache get a pet? For some furry company!

5. What's a mustache's favorite flower? A dandy-lion!

6. Why did the mustache go camping? To grow wild!

7. How does a mustache celebrate? With a hairy party!

8. Why was the mustache so cheesy? It loved a good dad joke!

9. What's a mustache's favorite drink? A frothy mustache-tini!

10. Why did the mustache go to the barber? It needed a little off the top!

11. How does a mustache stay sharp? It hones its bristles!

12. Why was the mustache so happy? It was living the lip life!

13. What's a mustache's favorite food? Spaghetti, it catches the sauce!

14. Why did the mustache join a club? To meet other bristles!

15. How does a mustache tell time? It checks its whisker clock!

16. Why was the mustache so proud? It was a family heir-loom!

17. What's a mustache's favorite season? Fall, for the fuzzy vibes!

18. Why did the mustache get glasses? To look more distinguished!

19. How does a mustache make decisions? It goes with its gut hair!

20. Why was the mustache so chill? It had a laid-back bristle!

21. What's a mustache's favorite joke? A real lip-tickler!

22. Why did the mustache get a medal? It was outstanding in its field!

23. How does a mustache stay fit? It does lip-ups!

24. Why was the mustache so polite? It always tipped its cap!

25. Why did the mustache go to the fair? To ride the whisker wheel!

26. What's a mustache's favorite animal? A furry ferret!

27. How does a mustache stay grounded? It sticks to the lip!

28. Why was the mustache so reliable? It always showed up on the lip!

29. Why did the mustache go to the zoo? To see the walrus whiskers!

30. What's a mustache's favorite vegetable? A hairy carrot!

1. What did the dad's mustache say to the son's? "I'm growin' on you."

2. Why are mustaches energy efficient? They always go with the grain.

3. What's a mustache's favorite food? Lip-smacking good burgers.

4. Don't listen to people who criticize mustaches. Simply brush off their opinions!

5. What do you call a nut with a hairy lip? A moustachio!

6. Why did the mustache visit the barber? It wanted a trimendous makeover.

7. What do you call a man with no mustache? Jealous!

8. I used to hate my mustache, but it grew on me.

9. Why did the mustache break up with the beard? It was tired of playing second fiddle.

10. What's a mustache's favorite month? Movember, of course.

11. What do you call a gathering of mustaches? A 'stache bash.

12. Why don't mustaches ever get lost? They always go straight under the nose.

13. What did the razor say to the mustache? "We need to break up—it's not me, it's you."

14. Mustaches are taking over, and it's happening right under our noses!

15. What do you call a mustache on a tin can? A can-stache.

16. Why do mustaches make great comedians? They always crack a smile.

17. What's a mustache's favorite song? "Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow"!

18. Why are mustaches terrible detectives? They always 'stache the evidence.

19. Some men prefer to shave every morning. They think facial hair is a mistache!

20. What did the mustache say to the hat? "You go on ahead, I'll hang around here."

21. What do you call a nut's facial hair? A Pistachio!

22. Why do mustaches never lie? They can't shave the truth.

23. How do you say 'happy birthday' to a mustache? Have a fan-tache-stick birthday!

24. What's a mustache's favorite drink? Espresso—it gives them a buzz.

25. Why did the mustache get detention? For brushing off authority.

26. Why do mustaches love mirrors? They enjoy a little self-reflection.

27. What do you call a mustache who brings dairy drinks right to you? A milk moustache!

28. What did the mustache say to the beard? "You grow on people."

29. Why was the mustache always smiling? It knew it was top lip material.

30. Why did the mustache go to the party? It heard it was a 'stache bash.