100 Thanksgiving Jokes to Share During Dinner

1. What key can't open any doors? A turkey.

2. Why did the cranberry blush? It saw the turkey dressing.

3. What do you need to make Thanksgiving s'mores? Pil-grahams.

4. What's the best way to fix a broken pumpkin? Use a pumpkin patch.

5. Why did the pie go to the dentist? It needed a filling.

6. What do you call a group of musical sweet potatoes? A yam session.

7. What's blue and covered in feathers? A turkey holding its breath.

8. What's the best song to play while cooking a turkey? All about that baste.

9. If Pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on? Scholar ships.

10. What did the pilgrim wear to dinner? A (har)vest.

11. Why do pilgrims' pants always fall down? Because they wear their buckles on their hats!

12. What sound does a turkey's phone make? Wing, wing.

13. What did the Thanksgiving turkey say to the Christmas ham? Nice to meat you.

14. How do little pumpkins cross the road? With a crossing gourd.

15. What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner? The casse-role.

16. What did the ocean say when it saw the Mayflower crossing? Nothing. It just waved.

17. Why is corn so popular on Thanksgiving? Because it's a-maize-ing.

18. What do you call a sad cranberry? A blueberry.

19. What do sweet potatoes wear to bed? Yammies.

20. What's the smallest unit of measurement in the pilgrim cookbook? Pil-gram.

21. What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner? Your nose.

22. What is a pumpkin's favorite sport? Squash.

23. What do you always get at the end of Thanksgiving? The letter "g."

24. What kind of key can't open doors? A tur-key.

25. Why did the turkey get detention? He used fowl language.

26. What instrument does a turkey play? The drumsticks!

27. What sound does a dizzy turkey make? Wobble, wobble.

28. What comes at the beginning of Thanksgiving parades? The letter "t."

29. Why should you never set the turkey next to the dessert? Because he will gobble, gobble it up!

30. What do cows do on Thanksgiving? They go to the moo-vies.

31. What Thanksgiving treat is the most popular at the kids' table? Crayon-berry sauce.

32. What kind of music did the Pilgrims like? Plymouth Rock.

33. What happened when winter arrives early? Autumn leaves.

34. What did one pumpkin pie say to the other? You're gourd-ous.

35. Why do birds fly south after Thanksgiving? Because it's too far to walk.

36. How do leaves get to Thanksgiving dinner? By autumn-mobile.

37. What do you call rain on Turkey Day? Fowl weather.

38. What did Han Solo say to Luke Skywalker on Thanksgiving? May the forks be with you.

39. What's a vampire's favorite holiday? Fangs-giving.

40. How many bakers does it take to make a pie? 3.14.

41. What do you call a running turkey? Fast food.

42. Why did the turkey join the comedy club? He had a fowl sense of humor.

43. What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving? Lucky.

44. Did you hear about the rude turkey? It was jerk-y.

45. Why was the turkey asked to join a band? He could bring his own drumsticks.

46. What did the turkey say to the computer? Google, google, google!

47. What would you get if you crossed a turkey with a ghost? A poultrygeist!

48. Why did the turkey bring a microphone to dinner? He was ready for a roast.

49. Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside!

50. What sound does a limping turkey make? Wobble, wobble!

51. What's the most musical part of a turkey? The drumstick.

52. Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use fowl language.

53. What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!

54. What's a turkey's favorite Thanksgiving food? Nothing — It's already stuffed.

55. What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

56. Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!

57. What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day? Quack, quack!

58. Why did the turkey stand on stilts? Because nobody eat flamingoes for Thanksgiving dinner.

59. What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.

60. Why did the turkey refuse dessert? He was stuffed.

61. What did Dad say when he was asked to say grace? "Grace."

62. Where did the Pilgrims stand after landing on Plymouth Rock? On their feet.

63. Why didn't the pilgrim want to make the bread? It's a crummy job.

64. What should you expect at the end of Thanksgiving? The letter "g."

65. Did you hear about the scarecrow who won first prize? It was outstanding in its field.

66. Who should you invite to your Friendsgiving? Your close group of pal-grims.

67. What's the forecast for Thanksgiving, regardless of what the meteorologist says? Sweater weather.

68. What's one thing that you'll have in common with a teddy bear on Thanksgiving? You'll both be filled with stuffing.

69. Why didn't the cook season the Thanksgiving turkey? There was no thyme!

70. What do you call a holiday dinner without the parents? Friendsgiving.

71. What do Thanksgiving and Halloween have in common? One has gobblers, the other goblins.

72. What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy.

73. How did the salt and pepper welcome all the guests? By saying, "Seasoning's greetings!"

74. Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? It had 24 carrots.

75. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!

76. What kind of face does a pilgrim make when he's in pain? Pil-grimace.

77. What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!

78. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.

79. What did the leftover turkey say? Make me a sandwich!

80. Why are Pilgrims' pants always falling down? Because they wear their buckles on their hats.

81. What's something usually insulting, but not on Thanksgiving? A family member giving you the bird.

82. When are turkeys the most grateful? The day after Thanksgiving.

83. Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving? Because you far exceeded your feed limit.

84. What do you call a turkey who tells jokes? A comedi-hen.

85. Why don't turkeys trust each other? Too much fowl play.

86. Did you hear about the turkey that plays baseball? He covers first baste.

87. What's a pilgrim's favorite dance? The turkey trot.

88. What kind of music do Pilgrims listen to? Plymouth rock, naturally.

89. What are turkeys thankful for on Thanksgiving? Vegetarians.

90. What do math teachers eat on Thanksgiving? Pumpkin pi.

91. What did the autumn leaf say to the tree? "I'm falling for you."

92. Why did the corn go to therapy? It had too many ears listening in.

93. Why did the mashed potatoes go to therapy? Too many mixed feelings.

94. What did one turkey say to the other? "Let's get basted!"

95. Where do you find a turkey with no legs? Exactly where you left it.

96. What's Frankenstein's favorite Thanksgiving dish? Monster mash potatoes and grave-y.

97. What do you call a turkey's favorite dessert? Peach gobbler!

98. Why did the Brussels sprout cross the road? It saw a fork up ahead.

99. What happens when potatoes drink too much? They get mashed.

100. What did the shocked pumpkin say to the squash? "Oh my gourd!"