40 Home Alone Quotes to Welcome the Holiday

1. “Guys, I’m eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me!” - Kevin

2. “There are 15 people in this house and you’re the only one who has to make trouble.” - Kate

3. “Mom, does Santa Claus have to go through customs?” - Brooke

4. “Did I burn down the joint? I don’t think so. I was making ornaments out of fishhooks.” - Kevin

5. "This is ridiculous. Only a wimp would be hiding under a bed. And I can't be a wimp. I'm the man of the house." - Kevin

6. "Fuller! Go easy on the Pepsi." - Leslie McCallister

7. "You're what the French call 'les incompetents.'" - Leslie McCallister

8. "I don't want to sleep on the hide-a-bed with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he'll wet the bed." - Kevin

9. "All kids, no parents. Probably a fancy orphanage." - Harry

10. "You can be too old for a lot of things, but you're never too old to be afraid." - Marley

11. "Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen." - Kevin

12. "If it makes you feel any better, I forgot my reading glasses." - Uncle Frank

13. "Will you please tell Santa that instead of presents this year, I just want my family back." - Kevin

14. “Look what you did, you little jerk.” - Uncle Frank

15. “Buzz, your girlfriend. Woof!” - Kevin

16. “Hey, I’m gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead! One, two, 10!” - Gangster Johnny

17. “All the great ones leave their mark. We’re the Wet Bandits!” - Marv

18. “This is it. Don’t get scared now.” - Kevin

19. “Buzz, I’m reading through all your private stuff, you better come out and pound me!” - Kevin

20. “Say… is it true French babes don’t shave their pits?” - Buzz

21. "Ma'am, I'm eight years old. You think I would be here alone? I don't think so." - Kevin

22. "I don't want to see you again for the rest of my whole life. And I don't want to see anybody else either." - Kevin

23. "This house is so full of people, it makes me sick! When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone!" - Kevin

24. "Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?" - Kevin

25. "Oh, wouldn't want to spoil your fun, Mr. Cheapskate!" - Kevin

26. "If you need somebody to trust, it can be me. I won’t forget to remember you." - Kevin

27. "Kevin, you are such a disease." - Jeff McCallister

28. "This is my house. I have to defend it." - Kevin

29. “I wouldn’t let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass!” - Buzz

30. “I took a shower washing every body part with actual soap, including all my major crevices … including in between my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before but sort of enjoyed.” - Kevin

31. “A, I’m not that lucky. Two, we use smoke detectors and D, we live on the most boring street in the whole United States of America, where nothing even remotely dangerous will happen. Period.” - Buzz

32. “Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?” - Marv

33. “I don’t care if I have to get out on your runway and hitchhike! If it costs me everything I own, if I have to sell my soul to the devil himself, I am going to get home to my son.” - Kate

34. “Merry Christmas, little fella. We know that you’re in there and that you’re all alone.” - Harry

35. “I’m traveling with my dad. He’s at a meeting. I hate meetings. Plus, I’m not allowed to go in. I can only sit in the lobby. That’s boring. So he dropped me off here. He gave me his credit card and told me to give this to whoever was welcoming people in so I won’t get into mischief. And ma’am, sometimes I do get into mischief. We all do!” - Kevin

37. “You guys give up? Or are you thirsty for more?” - Kevin

38. “Damn. How can you give Kris Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? What’s next, rabies shots for the Easter Bunny?” - Santa Claus

39. “A lovely cheese pizza. Just for me.” - Kevin

40. “KEVIN!” - Kate