The Office Quotes: 50 Most Iconic And Hilarious Lines From The Comedy Masterpiece

1. "I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them." - Andy Bernard

2. "I am faster than 80 percent of all snakes." - Dwight Schrute

3. “Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” - Michael Scott

4. “Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.” - Michael Scott

5. “Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim, is actually my friend. But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy so actually Jim is my enemy.” - Dwight Schrute

6. “If I don’t have some cake soon, I might die.” - Stanley Hudson

7. “Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year.” - Dwight Schrute

8. “I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” - Kevin Malone

9. "I don't care what they say about me. I just want to eat." - Pam Beesly

10. "I stopped caring a long time ago." - Creed Bratton

11. "An office is a place where dreams come true." - Michael Scott

12. "Hate is the most useless of all emotions. Success is the best revenge." - Michael Scott

13. "If there were somewhere else that valued loyalty more highly, I'm going wherever they value loyalty the most." - Dwight Schrute

14. "Always set yourself apart from your competition." - Michael Scott

15. “Do I have a special someone? Well, yeah of course. A bunch of ’em. My employees.” - Michael Scott

16. “The people that you work with are, when you get down to it, your very best friends.” - Michael Scott

17. "Adapt. React. Re-adapt. Act. All right? That's rule number two." - Michael Scott

18. "Good managers don't fire. They hire and inspire." - Michael Scott

19. "Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information." - Michael Scott

20. "I'm an early bird and I'm a night owl so I'm wise and I have worms." - Michael Scott

21. "May your hats fly as high as your dreams." - Michael Scott

22. "You should never settle for who you are. Always go for better if it exists. Sometimes this is all there is to improve yourself." - Michael Scott

23. “Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that’s baloney, because grief isn’t wrong. There’s such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.” - Michael Scott

24. “Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.” - Michael Scott

25. “It just seems awfully mean. But sometimes, the ends justify the mean.” - Michael Scott

1. "For my new year's resolution, I gave up drinking... during the week." - Meredith Palmer

2. "I understand nothing." - Michael Scott

3. "You only live once? False. You live every day. You only die once." - Dwight Schrute

4. "It takes an advanced sense of humor. I don't expect everybody to understand." - Michael Scott

5. "Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, 'Would an idiot do that?' and if they would, I do not do that thing." - Dwight Schrute

6. "Mini cupcakes? As in the mini version of regular cupcakes? Which is already a mini version of cake? Honestly, where does it end with you people?" - Kevin Malone

7. "One day Michael came in and complained about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then." - Jim Halpert

8. "I am running away from my responsibilities and it feels good." - Michael Scott

9. "I talk a lot, so I've learned to just tune myself out..." - Kelly Kapoor

10. "Should have burned this place down when I had the chance." - Michael Scott

11. "The doctor said, if I can't find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I'm going to die. I'm going to die." - Stanley Hudson

12. "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious." - Michael Scott

13. "I got six numbers. One more would have been a complete telephone number." - Kevin Malone

14. "If I don't have some cake soon, I might die." - Stanley Hudson

15. "Boy have you done lost your mind, 'cause I'll help you find it!" - Stanley Hudson

16. “I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday.” - Michael Scott

17. "I am Beyoncé, always." - Michael Scott

18. “Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.” - Jim Halpert

19. "The worst thing about prison was the Dementors." - Prison Mike

20. "I am about to do something very bold in this job that I’ve never done before: try." - Jim Halpert

21. "I don’t hate it. I just don’t like it at all. And it’s terrible." - Michael Scott

22. "Oh, you’re paying way too much for worms, man. Who’s your worm guy?" - Creed Bratton

23. "Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name? Creed Bratton." - Creed Bratton

24. “PowerPoints are the peacocks of the business world; all show, no meat.” - Dwight Schrute

25. "Close your mouth, sweetie. You look like a trout." - Phyllis Vance