45 Psychology Quotes Funny and Relatable for Therapists

1. Therapist because mind reader isn't an official job title.

2. My friends think I'm a therapist… my patients know I'm a stand-up comedian.

3. I'm a therapist. I have a degree in 'Your Secrets are Safe with Me.'

4. Being a therapist means hearing 'You're so funny, you should be a comedian!' at least once a week.

5. Being a therapist is easy. It's like riding a bike. Except the bike is on fire and you're in hell.

6. Helping people to unravel their thoughts makes my life a twisted comedy.

7. Not to brag, but I'm kind of a big deal to my therapy clients.

8. Keep calm and let the therapist handle it… with humor!

9. Psychologists do it on the couch… therapy, I mean therapy!

10. As a therapist, I can't fix crazy, but I can certainly make it more entertaining!

11. Therapists: dealing with people, one neurosis at a time.

12. I'm a therapist. I have a PhD in feelings.

13. Counseling is my therapy, laughter is my medicine.

14. I'm a therapist, I solve problems you don't know you have in ways you can't understand.

15. I'm a therapist, I have patience and coffee in endless supply.

16. Not all superheroes wear capes, some have therapy licenses.

17. I'll be there for you, because you're there for your therapist.

18. If Freud sees my therapy practice, he'll need a therapist.

19. Don't keep calm. You might be in a therapy session.

20. You know you're a therapist when you need therapy because of your therapy sessions.

21. I'm a therapist, what's your superpower?

22. At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a therapist? Success is to let the patient blame everything on their parents.

23. Hilarious in session, a therapist out of session.

24. Think of your therapist as a mental health plumber, clearing the crap out of your mind.

25. Therapist by day, world saver by night.

1. Psychology is like air: You need it to survive, but you don't really think about it, because it's invisible.

2. I may be introverted, but I still have a lot of personality disorders.

3. My love for psychology is no longer a secret, it's right on the surface.

4. Why do we stare into nothing? It's our unconscious mind trying to minimize the competition.

5. I was going to tell a joke about psychology, but it was all in my head.

6. I have a cognitive bias towards believing all puns are funny.

7. A friend of mine keeps telling me how they can read people's facial expressions. I don't buy it. I bet they're just faking it.

8. I'm always looking for a new way to deal with stress, but sometimes it's tough to find the right coping mechanism.

9. I'm a little bipolar when it comes to making decisions.

10. The problem with Freud's theories is that they were all based on his personal experiences. I guess you could say he was "narcissistic".

11. Whenever I tell people I'm a psychologist, they always ask, "What am I thinking right now?"

12. If you're afraid of the dark, lean into it. You'll find that there's a little Freud hiding inside all of us.

13. I would like to see a therapist, but I can't afford it. Guess I'll have to learn how to self-repress.

14. A Freudian therapist can cure a person like nobody else can. After all, no one else knows about your mom and dad.

15. Cognitive behavioral therapy is like Pinterest: You think you're doing something productive, but really, you're just rearranging pictures.

16. My friend asked me why their therapy wasn't working. I told them it's because they're taking their analyst for granite.

17. Two psychologists met and fell in love. It was a case of mutual analyzation.

18. I asked my therapist why I always feel like I'm on a rollercoaster in my relationships. She said, "Sounds like a lot of ups and downs."

19. A Freudian psychologist walked past a bank and said, "I hope money is safe there."

20. Why did the psychologist refuse to examine the unconscious mind? He said it was too mentally taxing.