100 Funny Christmas Jokes That Will Fill Your Holiday With Ho Ho Ho

1. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.

2. Why is December such a cool month? Because it has Brrrr in the name.

3. What do donkeys send out near Christmas? Mule-tide greetings.

4. What do you give a snowman with a fever? A chill pill.

5. Why are mummies such big fans of Christmas? Because they enjoy wrapping.

6. What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense? Wait, there's myrrh.

7. What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-itis.

8. What do grapes sing at Christmas? 'Tis the season to be jelly.

9. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

10. Why is everyone thirsty at the North Pole? No well.

11. What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas? "I'll never part with it!"

12. What do you call an old snowman? Water.

13. Why did the scarecrow get a big Christmas bonus? Because he was outstanding in his field.

14. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? "It's Christmas, Eve!"

15. What is a vegan's favorite Christmas song? Soy to the World!

16. What kind of ball doesn't bounce? A snowball.

17. How do sheep say Merry Christmas to each other? Fleece Navidad.

18. What is every parent's favorite Christmas song? Silent Night!

19. Why did the Little Drummer Boy put his drum to bed? It was beat.

20. What do you call a reindeer ghost? Cari-boo!

21. What's the absolute best Christmas present? A broken drum — you can't beat it!

22. What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs? Candy canes.

23. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy!

24. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Ice crispies.

25. How is a reindeer like a coin? It has a head on one side and a tail on the other!

1. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a dog? Frost-bite.

2. Why did the tree go to the barber? It needed a trim.

3. What's an elf's favorite musical genre? Wrap music.

4. Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting? They always drop their needles.

5. What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa's workshop? A rebel without a Claus!

6. What reindeer game do reindeer play at sleepovers? Truth or deer.

7. What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet!

8. Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey — he's always stuffed.

9. What type of photos do elves take? Elf-ies!

10. What falls but never gets hurt? Snow!

11. Why do reindeer wear bells? Because their horns don't work!

12. What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk? Jingle smells!

13. What do snowmen eat for lunch? Icebergers!

14. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament? "Quit hanging around."

15. How do Christmas trees say goodbye to each other? Fir-well!

16. What do polar bears wear at Christmas parties? Ice caps!

17. What do sheep say to each other at Christmas? Merry Christmas to ewe!

18. Who delivers Christmas presents to cats? Santa paws!

19. What do angry rodents send at Christmas? Cross-mouse cards!

20. How does Christmas day end? With the letter 'Y'!

21. What do you call a greedy elf? Elfish!

22. What kind of bug hates Christmas? A humbug!

23. Why do snowmen love hide and seek? Because they can camouflage!

24. What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Nice gnawing you!

25. What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad? A pineApple!

1. What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A Ho-Harley.

2. Why did Santa have to go to the hospital? Because of his poor elf.

3. Where does Santa stay on vacation? At a ho-ho-ho-tel.

4. What did the ocean say when Santa flew over? Nothing. It just waved.

5. Where do Santa's elves go swimming? The North pool.

6. Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can "ho ho ho"!

7. What did the soccer announcer who made the naughty list get from Santa Claus? COOOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLL!

8. What did the English teacher call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

9. Which of Santa's friends is the most chill? Jack Frost.

10. How do elves respond when Santa takes attendance? "Present!"

11. What's red and white and falls down chimneys? Santa Klutz!

12. How can Santa deliver presents during a thunderstorm? His sleigh is flown by raindeer.

13. What's Santa Claus's favorite type of potato chip? Crisp Pringles!

14. What is Santa's primary language? North Polish.

15. Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him!

16. What is Santa's favorite kind of candy? Jolly ranchers.

17. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing — it was on the house!

18. What do you call a broke Santa Claus? Saint-nickel-less.

19. What goes "Oh, Oh, Oh"? Santa walking backward!

20. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker.

21. Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.

22. What's Santa's favorite fruit? (Sugar)plums.

23. Who's Santa's favorite singer? Elfish Presley.

24. Which of Santa's reindeer has the best moves? Dancer.

25. Where does Santa store his suit? In his Claus-et.

1. Knock, knock! Who's there? North. North who? Northing beats Christmas with you!

2. Knock, knock! Who's there? Candy. Candy who? Candy you believe how close Christmas is?

3. Knock, knock! Who's there? Angel. Angel who? Angel all the bells and sing with me!

4. Knock, knock! Who's there? Chip. Chip who? Chip-chip hooray, it's Christmas day!

5. Knock, knock! Who's there? Cookie. Cookie who? Cookie quick, Santa's almost here!

6. Knock, knock! Who's there? Rudolph. Rudolph who? Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer at your service!

7. Knock, knock! Who's there? Snowflake. Snowflake who? Snowflake a wish and it might come true!

8. Knock, knock! Who's there? Cocoa. Cocoa who? Cocoa-zy up, it's Christmas movie time!

9. Knock, knock! Who's there? Alaska. Alaska who? Alaska again. What do you want for Christmas?

10. Knock, knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Luke at all those presents!

11. Knock, knock! Who's there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and open your gift!

12. Knock, knock. Who's there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey know how long it is until Santa gets here?

13. Knock, knock! Who's there? Wayne. Wayne who? Wayne in a manger…

14. Knock, knock! Who's there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good Christmas joke?

15. Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Christmas!

16. Knock, knock! Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive Christmastime, don't you?

17. Knock, knock Who's there? Honda. Honda who? Honda first day of Christmas my true love sent to me…

18. Knock, knock! Who's there? Dexter. Dexter who? Dexter halls with boughs of holly…

19. Knock, knock! Who's there? Elf. Elf who? Elf me wrap this present for Santa!

20. Knock, knock! Who's there? Holly. Holly who? Holly-days are here again!

21. Knock, knock! Who's there? Interrupting Santa. Inter— Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!

22. Knock, knock! Who's there? Anna. Anna who? Anna partridge in a pear tree.

23. Knock, knock! Who's there? Avery. Avery who? Avery merry Christmas to you!

24. Knock, knock! Who's there? Snow. Snow who? Snow time to waste. It's almost Christmas!

25. Knock, knock! Who's there? Donut. Donut who? Donut open til Christmas!