60 Funny Christian Jokes That Are Truly Hilarious and Clean

1. How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.

2. Who was the smartest man in the Bible? Abraham. He knew a Lot.

3. What did Jonah's family say when he told them about what happened before reaching Nineveh? "Hmm, sounds fishy."

4. Why couldn't Jonah trust the ocean? There was something fishy about it.

5. Where was Solomon's temple located? On the side of his head.

6. How do you make Holy Water? You take some regular water, and boil the devil out of it.

7. What did God do to cure Moses' headache? He gave him two tablets.

8. How long did Cain dislike his brother? As long as he was Abel.

9. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth? Ruthless.

10. Why is David considered the best babysitter in the Bible? He rocked Goliath to sleep.

11. How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman? By his net income.

12. What did Adam say the day before Christmas? "It's Christmas, Eve!"

13. Why did Moses cross the Red Sea? To get to the other side.

14. What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin' Catholic.

15. What was Moses' wife, Zipphora, known as when she'd throw dinner parties? "The hostess with the Moses."

16. Who was the fastest runner in the Bible? Adam. He was first in the human race.

17. What types of boats do believers want to go on? Discipleship and worship.

18. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden? Your mother ate us out of house and home.

19. Why wouldn't the Pharaoh let the Hebrews go? He was in de-Nile.

20. What did pirates call Noah's boat? "The arrrrrrk."

21. How do pastors like their orange juice? With pulpit.

22. What do they call pastors in Germany? German Shepherds.

23. What did the classmate say when asked why they kept walking next to the same person at school? "I was told I'm supposed to walk by Faith!"

24. What kind of car would Jesus drive? A Christler.

25. What do you call a Bible character who just pulled into church? A parking Lot.

26. Why didn't anyone want to fight Goliath? It seemed like a giant ordeal.

27. Which king liked to do things on his own? Solomon.

28. What did Daniel tell his real estate agent? "I'd prefer a house with no den."

29. What's a believer's favorite fruit? Spiritual.

30. Who in the Bible had the greatest business plans? The prophets.

31. Which book of the major prophets is the easiest to understand? EZekiel.

32. Which minor prophet is well-known thanks to cookies? Famous Amos.

33. What did Adam say to Eve when handing her something to wear? "Take it or leaf it."

34. When someone needed a boat made, what did the people in town say? "We Noah guy."

35. What did Zachariah do when he and Elizabeth had disagreements? He gave the silent treatment.

36. How did Paul greet his friend? "Give me Phi-lemon!"

37. What did the lawyer ask when someone started talking about God's will? "Was it notarized?"

38. What's a miracle that can be done by a complainer? Turning anything into whine.

39. What size was the lumber that was made to build the ark? 2x2.

40. How would you rate Jael's camping skills? Tent out of tent.

41. How do angels greet each other? They say halo.

42. What animal did Noah find hard to trust on his ark? The cheetah!

43. Why did the sponge go to church? It was hole-y.

44. Why couldn't the Israelites initially enter the Promised Land? It wasn't the Pinky Promised Land.

45. Why didn't Noah go fishing? He only had two worms.

46. What did Adam say when he was asked his favorite holiday? "It's Christmas, Eve."

47. What did God's people say when food fell from Heaven? "Oh man-na!"

48. Why didn't they play cards on the ark? Noah was always standing on the deck.

49. Why did Adam and Eve do math every day? They were told to be fruitful and multiply.

50. How do you know that atoms are Catholic? They have mass.

51. What's loved by Noah and also most meat-eaters? Ham.

52. Which nursery song would Jesus have heard the most? "Mary Had a Little Lamb."

53. What did the family members say when asked who would say grace? "Grace."

54. Which Bible character was the best musician? Samson—he brought the house down.

55. What do you call a prophet who's also a chef? Habakkuk.

56. What's a Christian's favorite card game? Eucharist.

57. How did Jacob cheer on his grandson? "You're the Manasseh!"

58. At what time of day was Adam created? A little before Eve.

59. What type of lights did Noah have on the Ark? Floodlights.

60. Why did the hawk sit on the church steeple? It was a bird of pray.