Dwight Schrute Quotes: 35 Most Memorable Lines from The Office Series

Liputan6.com, Jakarta - Do you love funny and memorable quotes? If so, you might enjoy Dwight Schrute quotes. Dwight Schrute is one of the most popular characters from the TV show The Office. He is known for his serious attitude, love for beets, and unique way of thinking. His words are often strange, funny, and sometimes even wise. Many fans of The Office enjoy repeating his quotes because they are unforgettable.

The Office is a famous comedy show that follows the daily lives of office workers at Dunder Mifflin. Dwight Schrute, played by Rainn Wilson, is one of the most interesting characters. He is hardworking, competitive, and sometimes a little odd. Throughout the series, he says many funny things that fans love. That is why Dwight Schrute quotes are so popular.

In this article, we have selected some of the best and most memorable Dwight Schrute quotes from various sources, Wednesday (28/1/2026). Whether you want to laugh or find some unique wisdom, these quotes will entertain you.

1. "Before I do anything I ask myself, 'Would an idiot do that?' And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing."

2. "I am not a bad person."

3. "I don't believe in coddling people. In the wild, there is no health care."

4. "Ahhh, Humor. I Have It Too."

5. "There's too many people on this earth. We need a new plague."

6. "People underestimate the power of nostalgia. Nostalgia is truly one of the greatest human weaknesses, second only to the neck."

7. "PowerPoints are the peacocks of the business world; all show, no meat."

8. "I love catching people in the act. That's why I always whip open doors."

9. "Would I ever leave this company? Look, I'm all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I'm being paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued loyalty more highly… I'm going wherever they value loyalty the most."

10. "Today, smoking is gonna save lives."

11. "How many people need to get hurt before we learn a valuable lesson? One? Two? Three? Four?… No, hear me out - five?"

12. "I am ready to face any challenge that might be foolish enough to face me."

13. "In the wild, there is no healthcare. Healthcare is "Oh, I broke my leg!" A lion comes and eats you, you're dead. Well, I'm not dead, I'm the lion, you're dead!"

14. "Nothing stresses me out. Except having to seek the approval of my inferiors."

15. "As a farmer, I know that when an animal is sick, sometimes the right thing to do is to put it out of its misery. With the electricity we're using to keep Meredith alive, we could power a small fan for two days. You tell me what's unethical."

16. "I really should have a Tweeter account."

17. "In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all. It's fear. Merry Christmas."

18. "Failure of any kind is failure."

19. "All you need is love? False. The four basic human necessities are air, water, food, and shelter."

20. "I am better than you have ever been or ever will be."

1. "Who is Justice Beaver?"

2. "Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will."

3. "People say, 'oh it's dangerous to keep weapons in the home, or the workplace.' Well I say, it's better to be hurt by someone you know, accidentally, than by a stranger, on purpose."

4. "Do you ever watch Battlestar Galactica? No? Then you're an idiot."

5. "Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year."

6. "They're mushrooms! They don't get that high."

7. "And I did not become a Lackawanna County volunteer sheriff's deputy to make friends. And by the way, I haven't."

8. "When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life."

9. "R is among the most menacing of sounds. That's why they call it murder and not muckduck."

10. "Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up, I performed my own circumcision."

11. "Listen up kid! I don't like you. But because some town in Switzerland says so, you have rights."

12. Michael Scott: "Why do you have a diary?"

Dwight: "To keep secrets from my computer."

13. "I don't have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog."

14. "I always wondered how they picked the person to die. I'd be good at picking the person."

15. "And just as you have planted your seed in the ground, I am going to plant my seed in you."