101 Jokes About Banking That Will Make You Forget Your Balance

Liputan6.com, Jakarta - Many people deal with banks almost every day. We check our balance, send money, or wait in line to talk with a teller. Sometimes the process feels slow or stressful. Because of that, jokes about banking often come from small moments that many people know well.

Long forms, forgotten passwords, and confusing fees can turn a normal bank visit into a frustrating experience. Many customers have faced these situations at least once. Jokes about banking often reflect these everyday problems and turn them into something people can laugh about.

In this article, we have gathered some of the best jokes about banking that are guarantee to make you laugh out loud. So sit back and enjoy these hilarious jokes.

1. Give a man a gun and he will rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone.

2. I looked at my bank account and found I could live the rest of my life comfortably without working. As long as I die on Thursday.

3. My dad always said to me, "Work until your bank account looks like a phone number," so I did. Account balance: $9.11.

4. Why did the idiot overdraw his checking account? Because he had no cents.

5. Did you hear about the guy who tried to rob a bank with a statue? It was a bust.

6. What do you call a piece of fruit that held up a bank and stole some money? A strobbery.

7. Why did the smartphone go to court? The power bank charged him with battery.

8. Where do fish keep their money? In the riverbank.

9. Did you hear about the guy that robbed banks and his getaway vehicle was a baby sheep? He's still on the lamb.

10. A basketball player and a horse jockey just robbed the bank. Police are looking high and low for the culprits.

11. An immigrant, a worker, and a banker are sitting at a table with 10 cookies. The banker takes 9, then tells the worker, "Watch out — the immigrant is going to steal your cookie."

12. A man visits his bank manager and asks, "How do I start a small business?" The manager replies, "Start a large one and wait six months."

13. Why did the old man take raisins to the bank? He wanted to set up a current account.

14. Why are bank robbers in the UK so strong? They've lifted a million pounds.

15. What's common between your mental health and your bank account? Both are considered fund-a-mental to a successful life.

16. Did you hear about the frog that robbed a bank? I guess you can say he Kermitted a crime.

17. I went to the bank and asked to open a joint account. The banker said, "Certainly — with whom?" I said, "With anyone who has money."

18. My bank recently called me to say I had an outstanding balance. I replied, "Thank you, I used to do gymnastics," and hung up. That was nice of them to say.

19. Why are Irish bankers so successful? Because their capital's always Dublin.

20. Did you hear about the dwarf psychic that robbed a bank? He's a small medium at large.

21. What starts with 0 and ends with 0? My bank account.

22. What's the difference between churches and banks? Both take your money, but only one gives it back.

23. What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza? The pizza can feed a family of four.

24. What's the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon? A pigeon can put down a deposit on a Porsche.

25. How do you define optimism? A banker who irons 5 shirts on a Sunday.

26. My bank manager doesn't give my business ideas the credit they deserve.

27. Bank Manager: "Your loan application was approved."

Customer: "Great, now I can finally afford to be broke in style."

28. I quit my job at the bank today. I guess you can say I lost interest.

29. Always borrow money from a pessimist — he won't expect it back.

30. If you have no interest in banking, you are not a loan.

31. If money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

32. If money talks, why do we need bank tellers?

33. What's the hardest part about being addicted to banking? The withdrawals.

34. The bank must really like me. They keep telling me that my loan is outstanding.

35. Why is a river rich? Because it has two banks.

36. Why did the banker die? He cashed out.

37. Chuck Norris doesn't have a bank account. He just tells the bank how much money he needs.

38. Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank? They're really good at saving.

39. I used to have an account with a bank at the North Pole. They froze all my assets.

40. Why did the little old lady put her money in the freezer? She wanted cold, hard cash.

41. Did you hear about the rival bankers? There was a conflict of interest.

42. Why are piggy banks so wise? They're filled with common cents.

43. Why did the baker rob the bank? Because he kneads the dough.

44. Why can't a bank keep a secret? Because there are too many tellers.

45. I think I could become a banker. I always want to be a loan.

46. Why did the banker resign? His customers lost interest in him.

47. I remember being in so much debt that I couldn't afford my electricity bills. It was a dark time.

48. Why did the post office recall stamps depicting famous bankers? People were confused about which side to spit on.

49. Why is it hard to buy stuff in winter? The bank account is frozen.

50. Never play poker with a banker. They always have the best suits.

51. Why don't sharks attack bankers? Professional courtesy.

52. What do you call when you cross a banker and a fish? A loan shark.

53. Why did the bank owner buy cows? To beef up security.

54. Why did the duck go to the bank? Because he wanted to get a new bill.

55. What do you call a flawless bank robbery with no fingerprints left behind? Stainless steal.

56. What did the tree do when the bank closed? Started its own branch.

57. Why did the skeleton not rob the bank? He did not have the guts.

58. Where do penguins keep their money? In a snow bank.

59. What's a banker's favorite rock song? "How Do I Get You ALoan."

60. Why do bankers make really good musicians? They have all the notes.

61. Why can't bankers cook? There's no accounting for taste.

62. Why did the fisherman become a banker? He knew all about net worth.

63. What do electricians and bankers have in common? They both deal with alternating currency.

64. A local bank is introducing a cash machine built into a tree. If it's successful, they might expand to other branches.

65. Why did the teller lose his job at the bank? An old lady asked him to check her balance, so he tipped her over.

66. Sign above a bank teller's station: "To err is human. To forgive is not bank policy."

67. What did the bank teller say to the patron? "Bank you very much."

68. If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only two tellers?

69. What do you call the new girl at the bank? The Nutella!

70. I'm not saying my banker is bad at his job... but when I went into his office and asked him to check my balance, he tried to push me over.

71. I asked the banker to check my balance. He pushed me.

72. Did you hear about the woman who doesn't like banker jokes? If you take her on a date, you'd better not teller any.

73. "A persistent banker wouldn't stop hitting on me! Even after I asked him to leave me a loan."

74. Bank Teller: "Your account balance is zero."

Customer: "That's perfect — I like my money like I like my humor: nonexistent."

75. Customer: "Can I make a withdrawal?"

Bank Teller: "Sure, but only if you promise not to withdraw your smile."

76. The teller counted my coins slower than a turtle on vacation.

77. Bank Teller: "Your account is overdrawn."

Customer: "That's just my bank's way of saying I'm over the moon."

78. Why do bankers make really bad movies? They're tellers, not showers.

79. How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.

80. Bankers — they lend you an umbrella and take it back when it rains.

81. A blonde walks into a bank and says, "Hands in the air! This is a screw-up!" The banker says, "Surely you mean a stick-up?" The blonde replies, "No, I forgot the gun."

82. Why can't cats work at the bank? Because they can't count money.

83. The drawer opened with dramatic flair, like a stage curtain.

84. My ID picture caused a chuckle from the corner of the teller's window.

85. Bank Teller: "Your savings are growing."

Customer: "That's because I'm investing in happiness."

86. What did the football coach say when he went to the bank? "I want my quarterback!"

87. Why did the banker eat lunch by himself? Because he was a loaner.

88. "This banker I know has absolutely no friends. I think he's loanly."

89. Dracula said he doesn't want to become an investment banker. He hates stakeholders.

90. Did you hear about the investment banker who became a horse breeder? He was always looking for the most stable returns.

91. Why didn't my banker like my bank joke? I guess it didn't make cents.

92. A bank manager friend has given up riding his bike. He has lost his balance.

93. Why did the banker dump his girlfriend? He lost interest.

94. Why won't bankers go to the opera? Because they quickly lose interest.

95. What's the problem with banker jokes? Bankers don't think they're funny. Normal people don't think they're jokes.

96. Why did the banker like the TV show? Because he was invested in the story.

97. What's a banker's favorite place to go on vacation? The Czech Republic.

98. Why did the banker break up with the calculator? Because it kept counting on other people's money.

99. How do you make a bank happy? Deposit some good humor along with your savings.

100. My overdraft fee has a better social life than I do.

101. Why did the bison go to the bank? To take out a buffaloan.