40 Shrek Funny Quotes and Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Like an Ogre

Liputan6.com, Jakarta - Are you looking for some Shrek funny quotes and jokes? From clever wordplay to hilarious situations, the Shrek movies are packed with humor that appeals to both kids and adults. These films have become famous for their witty dialogue and unforgettable characters that never fail to make everyone laugh oug loud.

Shrek, the grumpy but kindhearted ogre, is at the center of much of the comedy. His sarcastic comments and unexpected reactions to fairy tale situations create many Shrek funny scenes. Along with his talking donkey sidekick and a cast of quirky characters, Shrek turns traditional fairy tales upside down in amusing ways.

In this article, we have collected some of the best Shrek funny quotes and jokes from various sources, Tuesday (7/4/2026). Whether you're a fan or not, these Shrek funny quotes and jokes will surely brighten your day and make you smile wider than an ogre.

1. "Don't die, Shrek. And if you see any long tunnels, stay away from the light!" - Donkey

2. "Working hard or hardly working?" - Shrek

3. "For five minutes, could you not be yourself?" - Shrek

4. "Someday, I will repay you. Unless, of course, I can't find you. Or I forget." - Shrek

5. "No, not the buttons… not my gumdrop buttons!" - Gingerbread Man

6. "All right, nobody move! I got a dragon here, and I'm not afraid to use it. I'm a donkey on the edge!" - Donkey

7. "You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly." - Donkey

8. "You know what? Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk." - Shrek

9. "Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy." - Shrek

10. "Before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin’.” - Donkey

11. "Oh, don’t feel bad, Shrek. Almost everybody who meets you wants to kill you." - Donkey

12. “Donkey, two things, OK? Shut… up.” - Shrek

13. “C’mon, princess, you’re not that ugly. All right, you are ugly. But you’re only like this at night. Shrek’s ugly 24/7.” - Donkey

14. “Don’t mess wit’ me. I’m the Stair Master. I’ve mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here, I could step here and here and here and step all over it.” - Donkey

15. “Well, it’s no wonder you don’t have any friends.” – Shrek

16. “And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases eeking outta my butt that day.” - Donkey

17. “Huh, celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?” - Donkey

18. “I’m going to be a father, how did this happen?” - Shrek

19. “I live in a swamp! I put up signs! I'm a terrifying ogre! What do I have to do to get a little privacy?” - Shrek

20. "You have the right to shut your mouth!" - Pumpkin Witch

1. What do you call a group of ogres? A cluster of smelly onions.

2. What is Shrek’s superpower? The ability to make anyone run away screaming.

3. If Shrek had been an average movie, it would’ve been Mediogre.

4. Why did Shrek and Donkey go to the pet store? – To get a new ass-istant!

5. What do you call an ogre who’s always snooping around? – A shrektective!

6. Why did Fiona’s parents disapprove of Shrek at first? Because they thought he was just a big ogre of trouble.

7. Why did Shrek and Fiona decide to get married in the swamp? Because the reception was included in the ‘mud’-iage package.

8. Why does Fiona never play chess? Because she’s afraid of the knight.

9. What did Shrek use to propose to Fiona? An onion ring.

10. What kind of party did Lord Farquaad, Gingy, and the three blind mice have? It was a small gathering.

11. What kind of man is Lord Farquaad? He’s a rare kind of man, indeed.

12. What poetic words did Shrek use to express his love to Fiona? “You have me head over heels in love.”

13. Why is Lord Farquaad always so angry? He's short tempered!

14. Why was princess Fiona so bad at basketball? Because she had an onion for a coach!

15. What do you call it when Shrek falls off a boat? Ogreboard!

16. Who is Shrek's favorite basketball player? Shrekquille O'Neal

17. My kids love The Hulk so I painted myself green for my son’s birthday party... Man were they excited to meet Shrek.

18. What does Shrek say when he wins a game of chess? Shrekmate.

19. How does Shrek like his eggs in the morning? “Ogre easy, please!”

20. Why did Donkey cross the road? To get away from Shrek’s morning breath.