100 Soccer Jokes That Will Score a Laugh

Liputan6.com, Jakarta - If you love soccer, you are going to enjoy these great soccer jokes. Soccer is one of the most popular sports in the world. Billions of people watch it, play it, and talk about it every single day. It connects people across many countries and cultures in a way very few things can.

Soccer is not only fun to watch and play. It is also a wonderful source of humor. The big emotions, the dramatic goals, and the funny moments on and off the field have inspired countless soccer jokes over the years. Any true fan knows that laughter is always part of the game.

In this article, you will find a collection of the funniest soccer jokes around. There is something here for every type of fan. Keep reading and get ready to laugh!

1. Why shouldn't you play soccer in the jungle? There are too many cheetahs!

2. What do you call someone who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next? A soccer coach.

3. Why are soccer players so artistic? Because every game ends in a draw.

4. Two soccer teams play a game against each other. The home team won, but not a single man from either team scored a goal. How can this be? They were women's soccer teams!

5. What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas? COOOOOOOOALLLL!!!

6. Why did the soccer player hold his boot to his ear? Because he enjoyed sole music.

7. What do you get if you cross a soccer player and the Invisible Man? He would play soccer like no one has ever seen.

8. What's the difference between a bad soccer team and an albatross? An albatross has got two decent wings.

9. Why is a bad soccer team like an old bra? It has no cups and very little support.

10. What does a soccer player say on Halloween? Hat, Trick or Treat!

11. What's the difference between the England soccer team and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

12. A soccer riddle: The home team wins, but not a single man scored a goal — and it wasn't a draw. The players were never confused about this. Why? They were all women.

13. Why do so many Americans play soccer? So they don't have to watch it on TV.

14. Why did the soccer team visit the Bermuda Triangle? To find their missing soccer ball.

15. What is soccer? It's been described as a game with 22 players, two linesmen, and 20,000 referees.

16. I used to be the worst player on my football team, but then I moved to America. Now I'm the worst player on my soccer team.

17. Why was the skeleton always left out in a soccer game? Because he had no body to play with.

18. Why are swimmers good at soccer? Because they dive a lot.

19. The soccer player was free kick-ing out about taking a penalty shot.

20. After my son's team won the soccer tournament, the goalkeeper invited the two of us for a party afterwards. It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.

21. Why did the motivational speaker call football a strange game? He thought it was odd that a bunch of people were running away from their goals.

22. What's the difference between a soccer referee and a politician? When the referee gets paid, at least someone wins.

23. I started watching soccer because it's very relevant to my life. Little to no goals.

24. Why can't Cinderella play soccer? Because she always runs away from the ball.

25. What does Cristiano Ronaldo have in common with a magician? They both do hat tricks.

26. Why was the soccer field wet? Because the players kept dribbling.

27. What is a ghost's favorite soccer position? Ghoul keeper.

28. Why did the chicken get ejected from the soccer game? Persistent fowl play.

29. What is it called when a dinosaur scores a goal? A dino-score.

30. What do soccer referees send during the holidays? Yellow cards.

31. Why don't grasshoppers watch soccer? They watch cricket instead.

32. Why didn't the dog want to play soccer? He was a boxer.

33. What kind of tea do soccer players drink? Penal-tea.

34. What did the bumblebee forward say after getting a goal? Hive scored.

35. Why can't you play soccer with pigs? They hog the ball.

36. Knock knock. Who's there? Defense. Defense who? Defense is around the soccer field!

37. Knock knock. Who's there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up, we need a goal soon!

38. Knock knock. Who's there? Shelly. Shelly who? Shelly-brate our win by going for ice cream!

39. Why did the soccer ball go to school? To get a kick-start in life.

40. Knock knock. Who's there? Peas. Peas who? Peas hustle to that ball!

41. Why did the tiny soccer player take a shower? He was a little Messi.

42. What do bees shout after scoring a goal? Hive scored!

43. Why did the soccer player bring a pencil to the game? Because he wanted to draw a foul.

44. Why was the soccer stadium so cold? All the fans kept doing the wave.

45. Knock knock. Who's there? Juicy. Juicy who? Juicy the look on that guy's face when I scored?

46. Why did the soccer referee refuse to ref the game in the jungle? There were too many cheetahs.

47. What was the team of cow soccer players called? Moo-nited.

48. Which soccer team is made up of sheep? Baaaa-celona.

49. Why couldn't the soccer players play cards? They kept getting red cards.

50. What's a soccer player's favorite animal? A score-pion.

51. Soccer is the only sport that's not a game of inches — it's a game of feet.

52. Seven days without playing soccer can make one weak.

53. The best dog breed for soccer is the goal-den retriever.

54. My mom told me to never date a soccer player — there's only a 1-in-11 chance they're a keeper.

55. I tell soccer jokes just for kicks.

56. Soccer pitches get wet very quickly because players are always dribbling.

57. I'm head over cleats in love with soccer!

58. I can't believe I missed that goal — I'm really kicking myself!

59. I'm just a goalie trying to save my life!

60. Referees are just soccer players who have gone blind.

61. Soccer defenders: truly a goal-oriented bunch!

62. Soccer is a strange game — it's a bunch of people running away from their goals.

63. The soccer player always had great ideas; he was a real goal-getter!

64. When the pitch is flooded, soccer teams can still go on — they just bring on the subs.

65. I'm a soccer for you.

66. When Santa Claus plays soccer, he's the coal-keeper.

67. What did one soccer player say to another at the end of the game? "I'm just here for the kicks!"

68. The best part about being a soccer fan? You always get a kick out of it!

69. Soccer hair, don't care.

70. Salmon are known for their dream of being pro-fish-sional soccer players.

71. Cleat expectations: when you think you'll win the game by just lacing up.

72. The man who invented soccer got a kick out of it.

73. What do you call a sad soccer player? A goal-less wonder!

74. Why don't soccer players play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when they're always looking for the goal!

75. They should end soccer games with an art competition — that way it would be win, lose, or draw.

76. Why are scrambled eggs like a losing soccer team? Because they've both been beaten.

77. What do you call soccer players who don't wear their cleats? Socker players.

78. Why did the soccer dad bring string to the game? He wanted to tie the score!

79. What runs around a soccer field but never moves? A fence.

80. How did the soccer field become a triangle? Someone took a corner!

81. Why did the soccer fan toss his pop in the air? He was celebrating a whirled cup.

82. Where was the first World Cup held? In the hands of the winners!

83. Why wasn't the nose on the soccer team? It didn't get picked!

84. What do you call a soccer team's lunch in the park? A kick-nic!

85. What position does a soccer player who doesn't care about the past or present play? Forward.

86. Why did the American soccer player decide to use his hands? Because he was tired of de-feat.

87. What do you call a dad who loves soccer? A "papa"-goalie!

88. Why did the soccer dad go to art school? He wanted to learn how to draw fouls!

89. What do you call a dad who tells too many soccer jokes? A pun-damentalist!

90. Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the internet? Because they can't stop saving their work.

91. How do you stop squirrels from playing soccer? Hide the ball — it drives them nuts!

92. Which goalie can jump higher than the crossbar? All of them. Crossbars can't jump.

93. What's the best position to play if you don't like soccer? Right back — right back in the locker room.

94. What do you call a ship that holds 20 soccer teams and 3 leave each season? A Premier-ship.

95. Why did the soccer player fail art class? They couldn't draw a foul.

96. Why did the goalkeeper go to the bank? To check his balance.

97. What do you call it when your opponent comes to town? Arrival.

98. How does a soccer pitch end up as a triangle? Somebody took a corner!

99. Why do soccer players make terrible detectives? Because they always miss the clues.

100. What do you call a Greek philosopher who played soccer? Soccerates.