50 Walk Into a Bar Jokes That Will Make You Spit Out Your Drink

Liputan6.com, Jakarta Have you ever wondered why walk into a bar jokes make people laugh so much? These simple jokes have been around for many years. People tell them at parties, work, and with friends. Walk into a bar jokes are popular because they are easy to remember and share.

Walk into a bar jokes follow a simple pattern. Someone or something goes into a bar. Then something funny happens. The joke usually has a surprise ending. Most walk into a bar jokes are short and sweet. They work well because everyone knows what a bar looks like.

In this article, we have gathered some of the funniest walk into a bar jokes that will make you laugh out loud. Enjoy the fun and maybe find a new favorite joke to tell your friends.

1. A limbo champion walked into a bar. He was immediately disqualified.

2. A guy walks into a bar after a long day at work and orders a drink. As he sits there, mulling over his day, he hears a high-pitched voice say, "That shirt looks great on you!" The man looks around, doesn't see anything, and returns to his drink thinking nothing more of it. But then, a moment later, the voice returns, this time offering, "You seem like a really cool guy!" Again, the man looks around, sees nothing, and returns to his drink, wondering if he should get checked out by a professional. Finally, when his nerves have cooled and he believes the voice is gone, he hears, "I bet your parents are really proud of you!" He slams down his drink and looks around wildly. Frustrated and finding no possible source of the voice, he calls over the bartender. He says, "Hey barkeep! What's that voice I keep hearing?" "Oh, those are the peanuts," the bartender replies. "They're complimentary."

3. Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

4. A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve your kind in here." The mushrooms replies, "Why not? I'm a fungi!"

5. The bartender says, "We don't serve time travelers in here." A time traveler walks into a bar.

6. A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."

7. Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O." The second one says, "I'll have some H2O too." Then he dies.

8. A guy walks into a bar carrying jumper cables. The bartender says, "Hey pal, don't start anything in here."

9. The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense!

10. A man walks into a bar. As he sits down, he looks up and notices three pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender "what's with the meat?" The bartender says, "If you can jump up and slap all three pieces at once, you get free drinks for an hour. If you miss even one, you have to pay for everyone else's drinks for the rest of the night. Wanna give it a go?" The man takes another look at the meat, then says, "I think I'll pass. The steaks are too high."

11. A pair of jumper cables walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't you two start anything."

12. A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.

13. A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender sets the beer down and says, "For you, no charge!"

14. A piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says, "We don't serve strings here." The string goes outside, throws himself on the ground, rolls around until he frays one end of himself and then ties himself in a knot. He walks back into the bar and the bartender says, "Weren't you just in here?" The string replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

15. C, Eb, and G walk into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing them, says "sorry, we don't serve minors."

16. A guy walks into a bar and asks for 10 shots of the establishment's finest single malt scotch. The bartender sets him up, and the guy takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. He then takes the last shot in the row and does the same. The bartender asks, "Why did you do that?" And the guy replies, "Well the first shot always tastes like crap, and the last one always makes me sick!"

17. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders one beer, the second orders half of a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, the fourth orders an eighth of a beer, and so on… The bartender rolls his eyes, pours two beers, and says, "Here, you guys work it out."

18. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

19. A guy walks into a bar owned by Eminem. He tells the bartender,"Give me 2 shots of…" The bartender cuts him off saying,"You only get 1 shot."

20. A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. When the barman serves it up, he takes it out to the bench in front of the bar to drink it. As he's enjoying his drink, a nun walks by, and glares at him sourly. "How can you pollute your soul with the Devil's drink like that?" she asks. The man shrugs. "It's not the Devil, it's just whiskey." "But it's sinful and wicked!" "How do you know it's so bad, then? Have you ever tasted whiskey?" "Of course not! My sisters and mother superior told me how evil drink is." "But how do they know? Have they ever had a drink?" They go back and forth like this for a while, before at last, the nun relents. "Well, I suppose that if I were to try a sip of whiskey, I would better understand how it corrupts the soul. But it wouldn't do for any of my sisters to come by here and see me drinking. Could you order me one in a teacup?" The man agrees this is fair, and walks inside to the barman. "Two whiskeys, but put one in a teacup, please." The barman slams his hand down on the bar and shouts, "Is that damn nun here again!?"

1. A skeleton walks into a bar. He walks up to the bartender and says, "I'll have a beer and a mop."

2. An amnesiac walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do I come here often?"

3. A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

4. A guy walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. Before the bartender even returns with the check, the man has slammed back half of them and shows no signs of slowing down. As the guy finishes his final shot, the bartender asks, "Why are you drinking so fast?" The guy wipes his mouth and replies, "You would be drinking fast, too, if you had what I had." The bartender asks, "What do you have?" The guy says, "75 cents," and runs out the door.

5. Julius Caesar walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a Martinus." The bartender gives him a puzzled look and asks, "Don't you mean a Martini?" "Look," Caesar replies, "If I wanted a double, I'd have asked for it!"

6. A leprechaun walks into a bar. The bartender gives him a beer and says, "That'll be $2.50." The leprechaun puts two dollar bills on the bar and starts walking away. The barkeep shouts, "You're a little short!"

7. A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartenders says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

8. A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Why do you have a paper towel on your head?" The pirate says, "ARRRRRGH, I've got a bounty on me head!"

9. Two vampires walked into a bar. "I'll have a glass of blood," said one. "I'll have a glass of plasma," said the other. "Okay," replied the bartender, "That'll be… one blood and one blood lite…"

10. A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, "I'll have five beers, please."

11. Helen Keller walks into a bar, and then a table, and then a chair.

12. A ghost walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve spirits here."

13. A guy walks into a bar, grabs a seat and orders a whiskey double, neat. The bartender prepares his drink with great delicacy and brings it right over. The gentleman reaches into his blazer searching frantically. This catches the bartender's attention so he monitors the patron out the corner of his eye. Finally the man finds what he's looking for and sighs a sigh of relief. He pulls out a straw and takes a sip of his whiskey. The perplexed bartender grabs his attention, "I'm terribly sorry sir, was your glass dirty?" To which the man replies surprised, "Oh no no everything's fine! I just promised my wife I'd never put my lips on another glass of whiskey again."

14. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon, his spurs clinking as he walks, his six-shooter slapping at his furry hip. He bellies up to the bar, stares down the bartender, and proclaims, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

15. An Irishman walks into a bar in New York City and orders three pints of beer. He drinks each one in turn, and walks out. The next night he returns, and again orders three pints of beer, and then again the next night. The bartender offers to serve them consecutively so they won't go flat, but the Irishman explains, "I'd rather see them all lined up before me. I left two brothers behind in Ireland, and since we used to meet at the pub every night and have a pint together, I feel closer to them when I come drink my pint and their two." This goes on for a year, and then one night, the Irishman fails to come in. The regulars are concerned, and then saddened when he returns a few nights later and orders only two pints of beer. When the bartender serves him, he says, "I see you didn't order a beer for one of your brothers. My condolences on your loss." "My brothers are still alive," the Irishman says. "I didn't order my own beer; my wife made me promise to give up drinking."

1. A goldfish walks into a bar and looks at the bartender. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" The goldfish says, "Water."

2. A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "I'll have a Gin and… Tonic." The bartender asks, "Why the big pause?" And the polar bear replies, "I don't know, I've always had them."

3. A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Steve?"

4. A baby seal walks into a bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "Anything but a Canadian Club," replies the baby seal.

5. A snake slithers into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but I can't serve you." The snake asks, "Why not?" The bartender answers, "Because you can't hold your liquor."

6. A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?"

7. A termite walked into a bar and asked, "Is the bar tender here?"

8. A cat walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. The bartender asks, "Are you going to drink it, or just knock it over on purpose?"

9. A corn stalk walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wanna hear a good joke?" The corn stalk says, "I'm all ears!"

10. A duck walks into a bar, orders a drink, and says to the bartender, "Put it on my bill."

11. A gorilla walks into a bar and says, "A scotch on the rocks, please." The gorilla hands the bartender a $10 bill. The bartender thinks to himself, "This gorilla doesn't know the prices of drinks," and gives him 15 cents change. The bartender says, "You know, we don't get too many gorillas in here." The gorilla replies, "Well, at $9.85 a drink, I ain't coming back, either."

12. A pony walks into a bar and coughs, "Hey, COUGH. Gimme a bu COUGH a beer COUGH." The bartender serves him and says, "What's with your voice?" The pony says, "Nothing, I'm just a little hoarse."

13. A bear walks into a bar and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says "We don't serve beer to bears." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender again tells him "We don't serve beer to bears." The bear, very angry now, says "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." The bartender, once again says "Sorry, but we don't serve beer to bears." The bear goes to the end of the bar, and as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve beer to bears who are on drugs." The bear says "I'm not on drugs." The bartender says, "Yes you are, that was a barbitchyouate."

14. A giraffe walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Do you want a long neck?" The giraffe asked, "Do I have a choice?"

15. A penguin walked into a bar and asked the bartender if he'd seen his brother. The bartender replied, "I'm not sure, what does he look like?"