Hilarious Jokes for Adults: 45 Clean Jokes That Will Surely Make You Laugh Out Loud

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

2. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

3. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

4. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

5. My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.

6. I can always tell when someone is lying. I can tell when they're standing too.

7. Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera.

8. Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you. But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.

9. You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

10. I was at the park wondering why this frisbee kept getting bigger… and then it hit me.

11. I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places – he told me to stop going to those places.

12. Have you heard about the guy who stole the calendar?! Well, he got 12 months!

13. Why do quarterbacks tell obvious jokes? So they don't go over their receivers' heads.

14. I never really liked facial hair. But now it's starting to grow on me.

15. Why did the computer catch a cold? It left its Windows open.

16. I don't trust stairs because they're always up to something.

17. What do you call a police officer that won't get out of bed? An undercover cop.

18. What is the worst combination of illnesses? Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.

19. What do you call a crocodile that's always causing trouble? An insta-gator.

20. I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.

21. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? The same middle name.

22. What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.

23. I never knew what happiness was until I got married—and then it was too late.

24. I told my friend ten jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.

25. I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors

1. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!

2. I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it!

3. Why did the man bring his watch to the bank? He wanted to save time.

4. Where do birds stay when they travel? Someplace cheep.

5. When is a car not a car? When it turns into a parking lot.

6. I told a bad chemistry joke once. I got no reaction.

7. Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera.

8. Why are most people tired on April 1? They've just finished a 31-day March.

9. What do kids play when they have nothing else to do? Bored games.

10. What do you call it when a group of apes starts a company? Monkey business.

11. What did the police officer say to his belly-button? You’re under a vest.

12. Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.

13. I made a whopping six figures last year. I also was fired from the toy factory for being too slow.

14. John had a blind date to a fitness center. She didn’t show up, so I guess they won’t work out.

15. What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet? Reali-tea.

16. I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!

17. Today I gave my dead batteries away. They were free of charge.

18. Have you heard the rumor about butter? Never mind, I shouldn’t be spreading it.

19. Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.

20. How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.

21. I tried to make up a joke about ghost but I couldn't. It had plenty of spirit but no body.

22. Have you ever heard about the kidnapping at school? It's okay, he woke up.

23. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

24. What do French people call the internet? Oui-fi.

25. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!